Top Ten Best/Worst Series Enders

Hosted by The Broke and the Bookish

Related: Brutal Ending to Series and Why They Are the Best

Top-Notch Series Enders

 



1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling (HARRY POTTER)
Duh.

2. The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman (His Dark Materials)
If you didn't cry at the end of this, there is something wrong with you.

3. The Bitter Kingdom by Rae Carson (The Girl of Fire and Thorns)
HECTORRRRRRRR (even though more people should have died, methinks. Because I might be a psychopath)

4. The Realms of the Gods/ Lioness Rampant by Tamora Pierce (The Immortals/Alanna)
Yes, I'm putting both on here. TRotG because KISS SCENE. And Lioness Rampant because EPIC. (Also my ship, it sails!)

5. Goliath by Scott Westerfeld
When slow-burning romances FINALLY IGNITE!

6. Forever Princess by Meg Cabot (The Princess Diaries)
Ditto above. Also, Mia got SO ANNOYING in the later books, but I felt this book was a real return to form. Also, Michael. End point.

ETA 7. Rose Under Fire by Elizabeth Wein (Code Name Verity)
This may be blasphemous to some, but I think this gorgeous book is even better than its predecessor. *rips heart from chest* *places it on a silver platter* *presents to Ms. Wein as no longer requires feelings anymore* 

Related: Top Ten Books Whose Endings I'd Rewrite

Honorable mentions: Lirael by Garth Nix, Across a Star-Swept Sea by Diana Peterfreund (EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE IT JUST ENDS), Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me? by Louise Rennison, Queen of Babble Gets Hitched by Meg Cabot, Darkest Hour by Meg Cabot, Where She Went by Gayle Forman,


Bottom-Notch Series Enders* (not a word, but go with it)





1. Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer (Twilight)
Yeah, yeah, everybody (including me) hates this series. But when I read this book, I was a serious (if closet) Twihard, and even I was annoyed (AND REVOLTED) by some things that happened in this book. Also, talk about anti-climactic. THE MOVIE WAS BETTER. Also, it would be nice if Bella had to sacrifice something for her Happily Ever After.

2. Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares (Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants)
THIS BOOK NEVER HAPPENED. ERASE IT FROM YOUR MEMORY LOGS. THIS IS AN AFFRONT TO ALL THINGS PANTS-RELATED. I'M BOYCOTTING PANTS. GOT TELL ALL THE HOT GUYS IN THE WORLD THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR PANTS ANYMORE.

3. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games)
Why is everyone I love dead?

4. Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding (Bridget Jones) 
Just on principle. (Warning: MAJOR spoilers at the link)

*I don't really hate Mockingjay that much. And I know I said I loved brutal series enders, but really, Suzanne? Why you gotta do me like that?

Baking the Books: Harry Potter Pumpkin Pasties!

 Welcome to Baking the Books, where I bake things inspired by my favorite novels! Since I do a lot of reading and a lot of baking, it was only a matter of time before the two things overlapped. It's just part of my evil plot to get books involved in every single aspect of my life.

Previous on Baking the Books: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz cupcakes

I've said possibly a hundred million times before on this blog, but I'm give a limb to go to Hogwarts, or at least to be invited to one of their banquets. Nobody can throw a party like Hogwarts can, and their Halloween banquet as always seemed, to me, like one of their best. I mean, you are literally dining with witches and wizards. Talk about thematic.




How much do I want to throw a Harry Potter party? So much.

Related: Butterbeer Cupcakes

One of the most delicious-sounding Harry Potter treats to me were always the pumpkin pasties, because pumpkins are the nectar of the gods and the symbol of fall and Halloween and perfection. So. PUMPKIN PASTIES, the yummy pumpkin treats Harry discovers for the first time aboard the Hogwarts express.

 

Ingredients:

Pie dough:

2 1/2 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon sugar
1 1/2 sticks of butter, cute into 1 inch squares and chilled
6 to 8 tablespoons ice water

OR: You can cheat with two sheets of pre-made pie dough. Saves quite a lot of time and effort.

Pumpkin pie filling:

3 eggs
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 heavy whipping cream
2 cups pumpkin puree (1 16 oz. can)


NOTE: This recipe produced far too much. I recommend halving it, but I didn't here because writing "1/2 egg yolk" would have felt silly.

OR: You can use whichever pumpkin pie recipe you like.
OR: You can cheat by buying and pre-made, already cooked pumpkin pie. Yay for shortcuts!

Assemblage:

You should do this and/or the pumpkin filling a day ahead if you're doing them both from scratch.

Pie dough! Mix the 2 1/2 cups flour, 1/2 teaspoon salt,  and 1 tablespoon sugar. I like to mix my pie dough in a food processor, as its by far the easiest way, but you can also use an electric mixer with the paddle attachment or a hand-held pastry blender. Add the 1 1/2 sticks of butter (in cubes, remember?), and then mix (pulse with your food processor) until the butter is incorporated into the flour and broken up into pea-sized pieces. Add six tablespoons ice water and continue mixing until the dough starts to hold together. If necessary, add the two remaining  tablespoons.

 

Form the dough into two balls. Wrap in plastic and flatten them into 1 inch-thick discs. Refrigerate for at least one hour.

 

Pumpkin filling! Don't forget, you should probably halve the recipe, even though I didn't. In a large bowl, combine 3 eggs, 1 egg yolk, 1/2 cup white sugar, and 1/2 cup packed brown sugar. Add 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/2 teaspoon ginger, 1/4 teaspoon cloves. Gradually stir in 1 1/2 cups milk and 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream. Stir in 2 cups pumpkin.




Pour into a large baking pan, the larger and shallower, the better. Bake filling at 350 degrees until set. My filling took forever to bake, and at the end I cranked up the temp to 375 to finish it off. All ovens are different, though, so let's say ballpark 30 minutes, but keep an eye on it.

Once the filling is baked, take it out and let it cool.

 

 Fun with cookie cutters! Roll out half your dough on a floured surface. Using a pumpkin shaped cookie-cutter (or any shape you want, really, but pumpkin is best for hopefully obvious reasons), cut as many pumpkin shapes as you can into the dough. Set these on a prepared baking sheet. Brush the edges with egg was (one egg, beaten). Spoon about two to three tablespoons of pumpkin filling on top.

 


Roll out the second half of your dough. Cut as many pumpkin shapes as you can. But you get to have fun with these! Cut out faces, slices, your initials, whatever you want, using a knife or, to make life simpler, the Zoku Quick Pop Character Tool Kit or some equivalent. You can get as fancy as you want to.



Press the cut out pumpkin shapes onto top of the egg-washed and pumpkin-laden bottom pieces. Make sure the edges line up, and that there's egg wash between them, as this will hold the two pie pieces together. Press the edges down, and repeat with the other. Brush the tops with egg wash.



Bake for twenty to thirty minutes, or until golden brown. Voila! You have pumpkin pasties!

And it's happy to see you!

Have a happy October!

Review and Giveaway: The Dollhouse Asylum by Mary Gray

Review: The Dollhouse Asylum by Mary Gray
Goodreads 
Release date: October 8, 2013
Publisher: Spencer Hill
Series: No
Source: ARC from the publisher for review
Rating: Yet again, we go from near-DNF to can't-put-down. A creepy, psychologically disturbing, action-packed tense novel, with flaws.



A virus that had once been contained has returned, and soon no place will be left untouched by its destruction. But when Cheyenne wakes up in Elysian Fields--a subdivision cut off from the world and its monster-creating virus--she is thrilled to have a chance at survival.

At first, Elysian Fields,with its beautiful houses and manicured lawns, is perfect. Teo Richardson, the older man who stole Cheyenne's heart, built it so they could be together. But when Teo tells Cheyenne there are tests that she and seven other couples must pass to be worthy of salvation, Cheyenne begins to question the perfection of his world.

The people they were before are gone. Cheyenne is now "Persephone," and each couple has been re-named to reflect the most tragic romances ever told. Everyone is fighting to pass the test, to remain in Elysian Fields. Teo dresses them up, tells them when to move and how to act, and in order to pass the test, they must play along.

If they play it right, then they'll be safe.

But if they play it wrong, they'll die.


Yet again, I find myself conflicted. I thought the beginning of this book was a little bit of a hot mess. All right, it was quite hot mess, but the last two thirds were so completely awesome that it's difficult for me to rate this book. I want to give Mary Gray all the points for the unique set up, viciously high stakes, and the fact that I don't have a heart anymore because I'm pretty sure it exploded from horror, but the few issues were so problematic that it's kind of a bummer. I want to shake the book and say, "You were almost amazing! Why didn't you fix these few tiny things? Why don't you live up to your potential, book?"

We first meet eighteen-year-old Cheyenne in a very mysterious situation. She awakens from a drugged haze in a completely baffling place and never thinks to herself, "Where the bleep am I?" Whereas I, the reader, was mentally screaming, "WHERE THE BLEEP ARE YOU?" And then there's a snake. I don't know. (Well, I do know, actually, but I didn't then.) For the first thirty or so pages, nobody acts like a real person would act. Cheyenne is in love with her math teacher, Teo, who is young and handsome and clearly a sack of vomit in human form. But Cheyenne wuvs him, even though he has kidnapped her and brought her to this totally bizarre utopia he's created and left the rest of her family to be eaten by zombies (sort of).

Teo is a romantic and an idealist deeply in love with classic literature. As the outside world is overtaken by the Living Rot, he builds a sanctuary for sixteen teenagers, including Cheyenne and Teo's own brother, Marcus. Here, they can lead safe, peaceful, vaccinated lives--so long as they follow his rules and play the parts he's given them to play.

Before I talk about how awesome all that stuff is, I've got to address my main issue with this book: Cheyenne. Cheyenne, you're a twit. Your boyfriend is a sadistic, psychopathic, festering sore. And yes, perhaps you didn't see that from the get go, but he considering her was your math teacher, can you perhaps realize he's not the healthiest dude to get into a relationship with? It's nearly impossible to relate to Cheyenne at the beginning. Teo is so clearly a creepy, sadistic sexual predator that her blind admiration of him is actually quite distancing. I understood that this would be her character arc, but girl, you are so stupid. So very, very stupid. Girl needs to have some get-a-grip sense slapped into her, stat.




The concept is completely genius and creepy, though. The execution isn't all there, to me. It would have been better if the creepiness  slowly arrived, so the reader was tricked into thinking Elysian Fields was a utopian asylum away from the zombie scourge. Instead, it's totally obvious to everyone with brain cells (so, not Cheyenne) that his place is jacked up and you'd be better off being gnawed on by the undead. I get that Cheyenne is meant to be brainwashed by the horrific Teo, but since Teo is pretty much the worst from page one, I never got why she'd ever fall for this guy in the first place. Evey single thing about him got my alarm bells ringing. To me, there wasn't even one redeeming quality for Cheyenne to latch onto.

Also, Cheyenne takes an immediate disliking to Cleo because Cleo's dressed "slutty" and has big boobs Can we stop doing this please? To paraphrase Ms. Norberry, we need to stop calling each other hussies and sluts. Also, a few more moments of agony that everyone you've ever known has been eaten by zombies would be nice, Cheyenne. Shed at least ONE tear for your murdered mother, please. Also, the casual suicide jokes. Not cool.

I hate to admit I was near DNFing. Most of this stuff was piled into the first eighty pages, and I was huffing with impatience. BUT THEN.

Oh, but then.

"I'm not sure which bothers me more: that I actually wanted to be his puppet, or that he clearly enjoys cutting our strings."

Teo shows his true colors in such a HORRIFIC WAY that I'm actually lost for words about it. I can't even... I can't. WHOA. ARRRRGH.

 
 

Teo's particular, literate version of twisted is so inventively creepy and terrible. They say that the make of a great villain is one who, if he were the author of his own story, would see himself as the hero, and Teo definitely does. Once this unnamed appalling event occurs, it becomes a completely different book. Cheyenne is no longer too stupid to live (most of the time), and everything about Elysian Fields becomes a thousand times worse. i couldn't put the book down. I was so tense I had to get up and stretch a few times. Marcus is a nice character who brought out some strength in Cheyenne, and while I would have liked all the characters to have more depth (especially Cheyenne), I was pretty entertained by the last two thirds. I wanted something a little different from the ending, but it was still satisfying.

I'm going to grade this book on a serious originality curve, and for creeping the pants of me. Seriously. I'm going to have horrible nightmares about Teo forcing me to act out his literate fantasies and then... *DOES NOT SAY BECAUSE SPOILERS* And trust me, you WANT to be unspoiled for these things. Because GULP.

Want to get your hands on a copy of The Dollhouse Asylum? Well, you're in luck! The lovely people at Spencer Hill have given me an ARC, and now I get to give it out to one of my lovely blog readers. US only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Book Haul, or the One Where I Buy Things I Shouldn't

I am far too lazy and un-groomed this week to film a vlog, so PICTURES INSTEAD:



Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson boxed set



Exile by Shannon Messenger (VERY VERY SHINY)



Perfect Ruin by Lauren DeStefano (which is OBSCENELY beautiful in person)

 

In the After by Demitria Lunetta (thanks, ARCycling!)

Review: Something Strange and Deadly by Susan Dennard

Review: Something Strange and Deadly by Susan Dennard
Goodreads 
Release date: July 24th, 2012
Publisher: HarperTeen
Series: Something Strange and Deadly #1
Source: Finished copy from BEA
Rating: A heroine to root for; an interesting, if easy to solve, mystery; awesome setting; awesome love interest; awesome zombies. BUT NEEDS MORE ZOMBIES.



The year is 1876, and there’s something strange and deadly loose in Philadelphia…

Eleanor Fitt has a lot to worry about. Her brother has gone missing, her family has fallen on hard times, and her mother is determined to marry her off to any rich young man who walks by. But this is nothing compared to what she’s just read in the newspaper—

The Dead are rising in Philadelphia.

And then, in a frightening attack, a zombie delivers a letter to Eleanor…from her brother.

Whoever is controlling the Dead army has taken her brother as well. If Eleanor is going to find him, she’ll have to venture into the lab of the notorious Spirit-Hunters, who protect the city from supernatural forces. But as Eleanor spends more time with the Spirit-Hunters, including their maddeningly stubborn yet handsome inventor, Daniel, the situation becomes dire. And now, not only is her reputation on the line, but her very life may hang in the balance.


The cover: The hardcover I got at BEA is shiny and gorgeous. There are gears behind the girl, and creepy twisted branches, and I love her stark pose and exaggerated silhouette. BUT. Eleanor is not wee and bony. I no likey the fact that these covers slenderize their awesome and curvy heroine.

The story: AHHHH, I enjoyed this book so much. I could not put it down, and while I have some nits to pick (SHOCKING), and I can safely assure you that Something Strange and Deadly is an awesome read. Plus, zombies. Historical zombies. Just in time for Halloween.



Eleanor Fitt is a sixteen-year-old girl living in genteel poverty with her mother in Philadelphia in the 1870's. The Dead have risen and are terrorizing the city. Dennard's twists on zombies is that these corpses have been reanimated by an evil Necromancer, and he uses them to accomplish his nefarious deeds--like deliver a letter to Eleanor (via Zombie Express--CREEPY!) from her long-absent brother implying he's being held captive by the Necromancer. Meanwhile, her mother, who is a bit unstable with grief after losing her husband and consequently all her money, is determined to see everything as hunky-dory and even more determined to get Eleanor married off to a wealthy man.

I think the reason I loved this book so much was Eleanor. Girl! I think you are me! You are curvy and you like buttered toast and you're very curious and sometimes have exceedingly poor judgment, but you are still a smart cookie, and you have a way with a parasol (you'll see). Eleanor is funny and dry and is just trying to keep her head above water, socially. The Fitts are in real dire straights, her mother is clueless and keeps spending, and Eleanor misses her brother terribly. Clearly the last thing she needs is a zombie infestation.

Which is when we get to meet the Spirit Hunters and my future husband. DANIEL SHERIDAN. Daniel Sheridan. Daniel Sheridan. Flawed, cantankerous, handsome rogue, you.

The Spirit Hunters are a group of people who battle the zombies with their mystical powers and occult inventions. Eleanor teams up (well, she forces her way in, really--girl's resilient) with them to save her brother and defeat the undead scourge. But obviously BIGGER THINGS ARE AT PLAY and it all comes together in a big and satisfying finale.

My main nits would be to include MOAR ZOMBIES, because zombies are cool, and that the central mystery was pretty easy to see coming. This didn't lessen my enjoyment of it, though. I just kind of predicted the final outcome after reading the first chapter. But I am the one true book clairvoyant, after all. Extra bonus points for an utterly frightening seance and extra EXTRA points for diversity. It could have been so easy to say, "Oh, it's historical, and there were ONLY WHITE PEOPLE HISTORICALLY YES?" But obviously, that is false, and Dennard includes a vast array of interesting, relatable, diverse characters.

Okay, let's talk important stuff. Daniel. Daniel. No insta-love here, folks. They banter with the best of them. I once watched an interview with Dennard where she said that Daniel/Eleanor were partially inspired by Dmitri/Anastasia, which YES. OMG YES.





I mean, Paris holds the key to their heart. And the next book is set in Paris. So make sure you pick Something Strange and Deadly up this Halloween, and then the sequel, because it's even better.

Review: Ten by Gretchen McNeil

Review: Ten by Lauren Gretchen McNeil
Goodreads 
Release date: September 18th, 2012
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Series: No
Source: Purchased
Rating: It's about teenagers trapped in an old house on an island with a serial killer, so it probably wasn't the best idea to read this while in an old house on an island that presumably has serial killers somewhere. So obviously, Ten scared the pants off me AND had a very surprising killer.



SHHHH!
Don't spread the word!
Three-day weekend. Party at White Rock House on Henry Island.
You do NOT want to miss it.

It was supposed to be the weekend of their lives—an exclusive house party on Henry Island. Best friends Meg and Minnie each have their reasons for being there (which involve T.J., the school’s most eligible bachelor) and look forward to three glorious days of boys, booze and fun-filled luxury.

But what they expect is definitely not what they get, and what starts out as fun turns dark and twisted after the discovery of a DVD with a sinister message: Vengeance is mine.

Suddenly people are dying, and with a storm raging, the teens are cut off from the outside world. No electricity, no phones, no internet, and a ferry that isn’t scheduled to return for two days. As the deaths become more violent and the teens turn on each other, can Meg find the killer before more people die? Or is the killer closer to her than she could ever imagine?


The cover: CAN YOU SAY OMINOUS? JUST LOOKING AT IT MAKES ME ANXIOUS.

The story: I was lucky enough to meet Gretchen McNeil at a signing in Glendale, and let me tell you, there is a hilarious dispartity between in-real-life McNeil and on-the-page McNeil. IRL Gretchen had a huge smile, gorgeous swoopy red hair, and was wearing a vintage-esque cherry-patterned white dress like she was on The Donna Reed Show. OtP Gretchen is a blood-spattered madwoman who wields her pen like a butcher knife. I LOVE IT. Seriously, I didn't expect to enjoy this scare-fest at all, but I did. Gretchen McNeil, you crazy scary.




I can't handle horror movies, but for some reason love horror books. McNeil effectively employs a lot of classically frightening motifs to enormous effect in Ten, which is inspired by an Agatha Christie novel and other classical horror influences. It doesn't reinvent the horror wheel, but oh, how it horrifies.The book isn't perfect, but the overall mystery and murder and mayhem was brilliantly done.

Meg and her best friend Minnie, who have a very unhealthy, codependent, enabling relationship that I found fascinating and troubling, are invited to a tiny little house party on a tiny little island in the middle of a not-so-tiny storm. If this sounds like a SUPER MEGA BAD IDEA TO YOU, that's because it is. Because then kids start dying. In really awful ways.

The main character, Meg, was sadly quite flat to me. Her one defining characteristic seemed to be that she was a writer, and this was only evident because every single darn character seemed to bring it up in ever darn conversation. Every now and then she'd have a snarky comeback, which made me connect with her a bit more. I always enjoy sisters in snark. Minnie is tremendously irrititating, but I loved that about her. She's not a healthy person, and her relationship with Meg is damaging. TJ, the love interest, I kind of adored. He's a POC (YAY!) and the cutest, most popular boy in school. He's not overflowing with personality, either, but he's pretty adorable. I thought the characterization in this book was probably the weakest point, but the scary stuff was by far the strongest. Which works for me in a campy, bloody, scary kind of quick read.

THE BODY COUNT IS HIGH. The murders are delightfully gruesome and terrible and frightening. When Meg and TJ venture into the other house on the island I nearly wet myself. The final climax is frightening, even if the killer does monologue a bit. And hey! The killer was a total surprise to me, which NEVER happens. So kudos to McNeil for fooling me.

So many of the deaths were so frighteningly original that I fear somewhat for the sanity of the author (DON'T TELL HER I SAID THIS OR SHE'LL FIND ME). I said earlier that McNeil is like a madwoman with a butcher knife, but the murders in Ten are less convential and more HORRENDOUSLY CREEPY. I'm not going to tell you about any of them, but oh GOD. Oh God. OH GOD. *turns on all he lights* *never goes anywhere again*



The writing didn't exactly light my world on fire, but still. DON'T read this when you're in an old drafty probably haunted house on an island with poor internet speed at one o'clock in the morning. I'm speaking from experience.