Thursday, October 8, 2015

A Review in Found Documents: Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
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Series: Yes, #1 in the Illuminae_01 Files
Release date: October 20th, 2015
Publisher: Knops (Random House)
Length: 608 pages
Source: ARC from BEA
Rating: This book is pure evil and you should not look it directly in the eyes

This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do.

This afternoon, her planet was invaded.

The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto an evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.

But their problems are just getting started. A deadly plague has broken out and is mutating, with terrifying results; the fleet's AI, which should be protecting them, may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on. As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it's clear only one person can help her bring it all to light: the ex-boyfriend she swore she'd never speak to again.

Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, schematics, military files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping, high-octane trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.

SO.  Illuminae is a tremendously atypical read told in a hugely unique format, so I'm going to review this book atypically. It's a visual book structured as a collection of found documents: transcripts, IM chats, hacked intelligence, memos, diaries, etc, detailing the fallout after a remote mining planet is bombed to high heaven and the survivors are forced to evacuate onto three vessels, which are now being chased by the big baddies who bombed them. It's about Kady and Ezra, two teens from that bombed planet who just so happened to break up the morning off their planet's devastation, which leaves them with only a sliiiiiight amount of baggage.

And then. Shit. Starts. To. Get. Crazy.

Honestly, I don't want to tell you anything that happens in this book. Namely that there's SPACE WARCRAFT, AI, romance, pure horror, twists, sucker punches, humor, and heartbreak, and that i ACTUALLY LOST MY DAMN MIND READING THIS BOOK. As you will see momentarily. Because I'm going to review Illuminae in the best way I know how: through images of found documents (aka my liveblogging to Meg of Cuddlebuggery while I was reading Illuminae. Take pity on both her and me.) Spoilers redacted. Obscenities that reveal the true salty sailor raised by salty-mouthed wolves of the sea that I am are NOT redacted.

So. Yeah. Basically.


  1. u should probably not look at her

    1. also, love this so very much

    2. further also, did not totally realize how often i say fuck or some form of

  2. I rarely comment on reviews these days, but this one is just so perfectly nonsensical and TRUE that it makes all the sense in the world, having already read the book myself. The taunting and rubbing it in our fucking unfair but at the same time, I kind of love the authors for going there and betraying us so completely. I wish I'd read this with someone else so I didn't have to suffer in feels all alone...

  3. Ohmygods. I haven't read this book. But ohgosh. I don't think anything could prepare me for this. Should I just go ahead and read it? Or should I just run away and save my soul? Help!

  4. I'm dying, this is my favorite review of EVER. Oh my God. THIS BOOK IS INSANE THE AUTHORS ARE INSANE WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME DON'T LOOK AT ME.

    "Am I not merciful?" FUUUUUUUCK. This book needs to come with a warning label: you will have a heart attack, so prepare, except there is no way to prepare so just do the best you can and cry and scream and curse and sob and rage and possibly throw the book at the wall.

    This sums up everyone's experiences so perfectly.

  5. I laughed so hard reading your messages, also they are so accurate to my reactions while reading this book - it basically ripped my heart out and keep smashing it non stop until the end.

    Deyse @ Bound with Words

  6. OMFG what a perfect way to review this book! The first book I read that had this type of format (it wasn't the whole book, just parts of it) was Night Film, and I gave extra points to the book due to the formatting. I am so excited that this book is set up as a data-driven, internet -savvy, media inducing format. ALL THE LOVE.


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