These Are My Literary Confessions

The other day I read a blog post over at BookshelversAnonymous (if you’ve never been, get thee there pronto!) wherein Shelver confesses all her deepest darkest book-ly secrets. It was such fun I decided to get in on the action too.

1.      I hate Beloved. With a burning, fiery passion. I think it is a pretentious book with obvious themes and overwrought language. I don’t dislike Toni Morrison on the whole– Song of Solomon is pretty darn good– but man, does Beloved irk me. I just detest it.

2.      Just like Shelver, the first time I read Twilight, I liked it. One of my friends told me about it (this was way before it was the mega phenomenon it is now– yes, I’m totally one of those hipsters who likes thing waaaay before they're cool. Well, only when it comes to books). She said it was this uber romantic tale about a hot guy named Edward. I was all “Edward? So not a hot name." She was like, “It will be.” And then I sat down and read the book in a day.

3.      I reread more than I read. My mother judges me for this. It actually worries her. But I think it’s totally normal. Some great books live inside you in a way that is just magical, and sometimes I have to revisit them. They bring me a kind of happiness that’s hard to describe. Like hanging out with old friends you know so much about, but you can always find something new you didn’t notice before. You can understand the book even better. I also reread books I didn’t love so much the first time, and end up understanding them better as well.

4.      There are a few books I have reread so many times I can quote passages and phrases from memory. All the Harry Potters, Pride and Prejudice and Emma, Jane Eyre, The Portable Dorothy Parker,  A Little Princess and a bunch other. I like to do this in casual conversation to make other people feel stupid (it doesn’t always work).

5.      I am a sucker for the dark, brooding, romantic hero. The angsty anti-social dude who, in real life, is a total unattractive jerkface. But on the page? Swoon-worthy. Darcy, Rochester, Sidney Carton. Except for Heathcliff. He’s a douche.

6.      I actually tossed My Sister’s Keeper across the room when I finished it. I was that pissed off about the ending. Mind you, I was also sobbing, but yeah. I was mad. That’s the only time I’ve ever done that.

7.      I organize my bookshelf so the more impressive books (anything fat and Russian, all the historical non-fiction, etc.) are most prominent. Twilight, Meg Cabot, Sophie Kinsella, and all my fantasy novels are in a box under the bed.

8.      I read classics just so I can say I’ve read them. I’m an English major, so it’s kind of my job to read classics, and I really do love them. But some I slog blaze though simply for the prestige. Like someone’s going to give me an Advanced Reader medal or something.

9.      I automatically judge you when you haven’t heard of a famous book or author. True story: I was at a party over the summer at the beach that my mom threw, and I didn’t really know anyone, so basically just pulled up a towel and read. This dude kept trying to chat me up, even though I was giving him every indication that no, thank you, I just want to read my book please. So he asked me what book I was reading. I held it up. Anna Karenina. He said, “Oh, is that good? I’ve never heard of it.” Clearly, that relationship was not meant to be.

10.  I will buy a book I know nothing about simply because the cover is pretty. Some of these end up being amazing. Some of these end up as shelf decoration.

11.  When I read a really good book, I get super jealous because I don’t think I’ll ever write anything as good.

12.  I could not finish The Fellowship of the Ring. That book is long, y’all. And there are so many characters that just didn’t need to be there. Tom Bombadil? Yeah, there’s a reason he was cut from the movies.

13.  I really love reading classics, but sometimes I’d just rather get sucked into some sweeping, epically romantic YA fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian and bawl my eyes out instead.

15. My favorite books are the ones that make me laugh AND cry.

What are some of YOUR reading confessions?