Multi-booking: Yea or Nay?

Recently, I've found myself suffering through one of the worst #bookbloggerproblems there is: too many books. How can you have too MANY books?! you might say. You might glance sadly at your empty book shelf and think, I WISH I had too many books.

And you're right. It's spoiled to complain about being inundated with both free review copies and pretty hardbacks I've bought with my own cash money. But accepting an ARC is like signing a contract. By receiving this free book, I promise to read it, and in a timely fashion.

Sometimes, we spoiled book problems with our voracious bookish appetites get greedy. And we request every book that looks good and buy all the books on sale (or NOT on sale) and wow, the library FINALLY has an available copy of that one book I've been waiting for for months, I'll just check that out right now and then you realize you've bitten off quite a bit more than you can chew.

What you think a loooong TBR list is like

What it's actually like

When I find myself in a spot like this (like right now... I've got a million ARCs that need to be reviewed and reviewed SOON, but I really enjoy this foreign practice called "sleep" and one day soon I'd like to attempt some semblance of a social life), I cope in one of two ways. I choose a book at random and power through in a matter of hours, cross it off my TBR list, and head to the next one; or I read about four at once.

Both options are lunacy. I know some people who are incapable of multi-booking. It's like book-cheating. Or it's confusing, with too many worlds and character swirling in your brain at the same time. It's faster if they just stay dedicated and plow through one book at a time. Juggling multiple reads at once so very often ends up like this:

I've used this gif before. I don't care.

But then there are people who are always reading multiple books. They have an audio book for the car, a paperback book for their purse, and a main book on their e-reader. Or they burn out if they focus all their energies on one book, so they have to switch to something different for a bit. Maybe they've been slowly rereading a favorite book sort of in the background of all their other new books, and every now and then they take a break and read a bit of the old book. Maybe, like me, they've been sloooowly reading Anna Karenina since last Halloween.

I vacillate between these two camps. Neither is right or wrong; it just depends on what mood the stalled car engine I call a brain is in. Right now, I'm multi-booking. Last week, I was power-reading, and I burnt out.

What about you? Are you a multi-booker? Or are you as talented at juggling as Honey Boo Boo?

Top Ten Books When You Need Something Light and Fun

hosted by The Broke and the Bookish

I read so many light and funny romances as a kid/teen, both YA and adult, and though I still love them, I don't read NEARLY enough of them. I think the quickest, easiest way to improve my mood is with something hilarious and romantic, and if it's contemporary, well, that just makes it even easier. You don't have to use your brain very much. No tricky world-building. Just fun. Fun and a fabulous sense of humor.

NOT TRUE.

1. Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

I talk about this one ad nauseum, so I will just say PARIS. CUTE BOY. Shenanigans. Go read.

2. Anything by Sophie Kinsella

I love, love, love British chick lit. And the undisputed queen of British chick lit is Sophie Kinsella. As a teen I devoured every book she wrote: all of the Shopaholics, though my personal faves are her standalones, Can You Keep a Secret?, Undomestic Goddess, Remember Me?, Twenties Girl and I've Got Your Number, all of which reduced me to tears of mirth. I haven't read her latest yet, but you can bet your bum I'll be getting to it ASAP.



3. Almost anything from Meg Cabot

Meg Cabot was probably the YA author I read the most as a teen. I find nearly all her books hilarious. Particular "light" standouts would be Pants on Fire, Teen Idol and her adult books The Boy Next Door, Boy Meets Girl, Every Boy's Got One, and the Queen of Babble series.

4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling.  

Or, in fact, the first three Harry Potters, aka before these books started murdering my soul in a way that felt almost personal. I love rereading the Harry Potter books, particularly the earlier ones, because most of my favorite characters are still ALIVE. They have such a sense of humor and wonder and magic to them. Never fails to lighten my mood.

5. Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding

Most of you have seen the movie (Those you you who haven't, I don't know what's wrong with you), and while I love the movie something fierce, I also love the book. This is the first book that ever caused me to cry with laughter. Bridget is a total prat with body dysmorphia and some serious personality flaws, but God, is she funny.

6. Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging, and the rest of the Georgie Nicolson series

THESE BOOKS. Theeeeese booooks are the funniest dang things you will ever read in your whole life. I don't even know how to talk about them (and I talk about them all the time). Every single person in this series is hilarious. Every one is uber British and overflowing with lunacy and I actually cry with laughter when I read about Viking weddings and basoomas and oh my God I need to go reread these bye.

7. Austenland and Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale,  
Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter, Epic Fail and The Art of Flirting by Claire LaZebnik, and other Janeite books

I said last week how much I love books that are inspired by classic literature. Well, I also love books that play with and make FUN of those of us obsessed with old stories with starchy petticoats and repressed sexual tension. The three books I listed above are only a handful of the funny and light Janeite books out there, and I personally can't get enough.

8. Anything by Maureen Johnson

I love her brand of humor. I am always guaranteed to laugh out loud while reading one of her books. 



9. This is What Happy Looks Like by Jennifer E. Smith

I love reading books about famous people and regular people falling in love and being all cute and modern-day fairy tale-ish, kind of like Gorgeous, a recent hilarious read that is now a favorite of mine. I thought this book was super cute.

10. Decked with Holly by Marni Bates

This book is so silly and so funny at the same time. When I read it, i compared it to a cupcake in book form, which is exactly what it is. Sweet and cute and not pretending to be anything but what it is. 


Honorable mentions: Spoiled by Jessica Morgan and Heather Cocks, 52 Reasons to Hate my Father, all beach and summer romances, Audrey, Wait! by Robin Benway, Wanderlove by Kirsten Hubbard, Amy and Roger's Epic Detour by Morgan Matson, Meant to Be by Lauren Morrill, Past Perfect by Leila Sales, How Zoe Made Her Dreams (Mostly) Come True by Sarah Strohmeyer.

Review: Gorgeous by Paul Rudnick

Review: Gorgeous by Paul Rudnick
Goodreads
Release Date: May 1, 2013
Publisher: Scholastic
Rating: I haven't had this much fun in a long time. WARNING: I would probably not classify this as YA, due to language and sexual allusions, but if you don't mind a little filthy humor, quirky insanity, and a total lack of reality, than you might want to give this strange little fairy tale a shot.



When eighteen-year-old Becky Randle’s mother dies, she’s summoned from her Missouri trailer park to meet Tom Kelly, the world’s top designer. He makes her an impossible offer: He’ll create three dresses to transform Becky from a nothing special girl into the most beautiful woman who ever lived.

Becky thinks Tom is a lunatic, or that he’s producing a hidden camera show called World’s Most Gullible Poor People. But she accepts, and she’s remade as Rebecca. When Becky looks in the mirror, she sees herself – an awkward mess of split ends and cankles. But when anyone else looks at Becky, they see pure five-alarm hotness.

Soon Rebecca is on the cover of Vogue, the new Hollywood darling, and dating celebrities. Then Becky meets Prince Gregory, heir to the British throne, and everything starts to crumble. Because Rebecca aside, Becky loves him. But to love her back, Gregory would have to look past the blinding Rebecca to see the real girl inside. And Becky knows there’s not enough magic in the world.

A screamingly defiant, hugely naughty, and impossibly fun free fall past the cat walks, the red carpets, and even the halls of Buckingham Palace, Gorgeous does the impossible: It makes you see yourself clearly for the first time.


The cover: I love this cover, even if it doesn't exactly capture the fun, frothy nature of this book. It does get the mystical-ness off the red dress, and the background does act as a kind of warning label, that, you know, midnight always rolls around for even the most beautiful of Cinderellas.

The story: I think asking Meg Cabot to blurb this book was spot on. At times it reminded me of her Airhead series, but a little loonier, more over the top, and with a lot of swear words. If you're looking for a grounded fairy tale that takes place right here on planet Earth, Gorgeous is not that book. If you want a book where there are fist fights at Ascot, actresses single-handedly defeat terrorists in hot pink camouflage jumpsuits, and every single word on the page is either insane or hilarious or both, then that is what this book is. It's like a sugar-fueled drug rush of glossy magazines and fairy tales and all the very worst/best parts of our pop culture.

You just KNOW that's Moriarty's favorite genre.

I could tell the instant it started, with Becky's highly unique narration, that a lot of people won't like this book. It's very unique, very specialized. It's my brand of humor almost exactly. Nutty, zany, quirky, and awkward. I will admit I spent most of the beginning a little confused (even though every single thing about Becky's life in the trailer park of East Trawley, Missouri was split-your-seams hysterical), but once Becky's life as "Rebecca" began, that's when the book got moving. And it never stopped.

I think this book straddles the line between Young Adult and New Adult. Becky has left high school, and there's language and sexual innuendo like you don't usually find in YA. However, the light tone and themes are very much not what's happening in this hazy new NA genre, which is mostly about college kids being very serious and having sex and suffering through lots of issues. Gorgeous is unabashedly fun, has no graphic sex scenes, and is about inner beauty and true love and self-esteem and all sorts of themes more prevalent in YA.

I get that Gorgeous isn't going to work for a lot of people. I, however, swear like a sailor and did even when I was in high school, because I was raised by foul-mouthed wolves with anger management issues, and I watch a lot of cable, and while this isn't a raunchy book by any means, it doesn't pass the squeaky clean teen test, either. So, be warned.

This book, obviously, is a hoot and a half, but it also has just enough weight in it to keep it from shooting off into the sky. All of the characters have so much personality that it's almost overwhelming, but not, because this is the best problem to have in all of literature. Becky, that delightful, hilarious, irreverent girl, learns all the life lessons she should, and then some. Rocher is her Missouri best friend, and yes, she was named after the chocolate. I adore her. She is a classy East Trawley broad who will always remove her hoops before kicking your ass. But I adore no one quite as much as Prince Gregory, world's most hilariously awkward prince, who needs to find a way to leave the pages of this book and somehow materialize as a real person and become my lawfully wedded husband right this moment.



Also, this book happens to focus on a couple of my favorite things: celebrity gossip, fairy tales, and the British. Most specifically, the British monarchy and the British hoi polloi and the British tabloids being lunatics. My mom and I used to DEVOUR Hello! magazine when I visited England as a kid. I stayed up all damn night watching the Royal Wedding alone on my couch, mainlining coffee and zombie-eating my way through two boxes of Thin Mints. I once had an exceptionally realistic dream that I was engaged to be married to Prince Harry, and Kate Middleton was showing me the ropes, and I had to learn polo as fast as possible because you're not allowed to be British if you can't ride a horse (true story. The dream, not the horse rule). So naturally I would enjoy reading about a girl romancing a fictional Prince of England. A fictional sexy Prince of England. It's a modern day fairy tale set in my brain if my brain were on the best sort of drugs.



I would encourage people to take a chance on this book, because you might be just the right person for it, if you're in the mood for some serious laughs or want to live the ultimate dream along with Becky. I mean, I don't know about you, but I am incapable of not enjoying reading about one-on-one tea with the Queen of England and her veritable army of judgmental corgis. This book skewers and pays homages to British culture and American culture with wit, a wink, and a lot of laughter. I read this book right when I was in the mood for it, and while I was dubious at the start, I ended up totally smitten. I plan on rereading this one in the future, just so I can memorize a couple of the more hilarious lines. Also because Gregory. Mmmm. Gregory

All hail Britannia!

PierceFest: Alanna COVER BATTLES!

The first Song of the Lioness book came out in 1983, exactly thirty years ago. (For a review/refresher, head over here!). So obviously the covers have been updated about a million times-- sometimes for the better, other times for the worse. Let's take a look at all (well, all the ones on Goodreads, because I am just not that thorough of a person) the Alanna cover variations over the years and choose which ones are the best, shall we? By the way, I will always love the covers I grew up with the most, because I am biased.

Don't forget to vote in the poll at the bottom!

Alanna: The First Adventure

1.

Original cover, pub. date 1983

My biased opinion: I'm loving the Black City in the background, but Alanna isn't ginger enough, her eyes aren't purple, and I really, really don't like the way they've drawn Jonathan back there. He has a mullet. PRINCES DO NOT HAVE MULLETS. Also, Moonlight is the wrong color. She's not a white horse. She is distinctly described as sandy colored with a white mane and tail. FOOLS.

2.

Oxford University Press, 1984

My biased opinion: Alanna is way more bad ass than this wishy-washy cover indicates. I love the shining purple jewel in Lightning's hilt, and the gnarled trees, but this just doesn't convey the kick-butt lady warrior feel at all. This could be any generic fantasy cover. Nay, I say.

3.

Beaver, 1986

My biased opinion: Okay, the horses are the total wrong colors, but DUDE, those evil Ysandir swirling out of the Black City like that? And the Great Southern Desert and the oasis and ginger Alanna? I approve. This cover conveys the action and adventure in this book quite well, and it's very charmingly eighties. It reminds me of The Blue Sword cover.

More covers after the jump!

Review: Thorn Abbey by Nancy Ohlin

Review: Thorn Abbey by Nancy Ohlin
Goodreads
Release Date: May 7th, 2013
Publisher: Simon Pulse
Rating: What a colossal disappointment. Thorn Abbey purports to be based on one of my favorite novels of all time, the tense and psychologically mesmerizing Rebecca, but this retelling falls short in every way.



Nothing is as it seems in this darkly romantic tale of infatuation and possession, inspired by Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca.

Becca was the perfect girlfriend: smart, gorgeous, and loved by everyone at New England’s premier boarding school, Thorn Abbey. But Becca’s dead. And her boyfriend, Max, can’t get over his loss.

Then Tess transfers to Thorn Abbey. She’s shy, insecure, and ordinary—everything that Becca wasn’t. And despite her roommate’s warnings, she falls for brooding Max.

Now Max finally has a reason to move on. Except it won’t be easy. Because Becca may be gone, but she’s not quite ready to let him go…


The cover: Damn you treacherous, beautiful cover! Why must you deceive me so, with your swirling iron gate and Gothic font and pretty dress? Oh, how I wish your contents had lived up to the promise of your cover.

The story: So the book starts off with this awesome, dramatic prologue, full of horror and screaming and fear, and I was like, yes! A haunted Rebecca! With a gorgeous, Gothic setting! And spellbinding romance! A dramatic tale of jealousy and revenge!

Prologue, you lie.

I had so many problems with this book, but I'll start off with the biggest one: Tess. She is, to put it bluntly, a total creep. She literally meets the surly and boring Max once, and she basically starts to obsess over him. And I do mean obsess. Seriously, their meeting consisted of him striding up to the person Tess was talking to, his roommate, Franklin, and demanding he leave with Max immediately, without once making eye contact with Tess. Swoon. But apparently, more happened in that brief five-second encounter, because all of a sudden Tess is IN LOVE. Full, one hundred percent, Max and Tess 4evah!!!!!1!! And it's borderline psychotic. Also, the level to which she becomes obsessed with Max's ex Becca is just... There is something wrong with this girl's brain. The whole point of Rebecca is that everyone but the second Mrs. de Winter (aka Tess) is a fruit loop. But Tess is seriously unbalanced when it comes to this boy. And I don't think that's what the author intended. She follows him around, thinks about him constantly, obsesses over the three words they exchanged in class, digs into his personal life, and cries about him, all before their second full conversation.

 

Somehow, miraculously, this evolves into them dating.

I guess it's not a good YA romance these days if there isn't at least a little bit of stalking involved, right? Gender equality! Teenage restraining orders-- they're not just for male vampires anymore!

So not only is Tess a creep, but she's dumb. She has tiny moments of being charming, mostly when she's talking with Max. But then she'll be hanging out with the rich bitches (more about them later), and they will say something unrealistically evil, and all of a sudden Tess literally has straw between her ears. My particular favorite moment was when this supposedly straight A student, repeatedly shown to be the most BRILLIANT student of English in the history of Thorn Abbey, literally does not know what a curling iron is. She calls it a "long, hot metal thing" that's being used to curl her hair. She's also totally baffled by the term "LBD". IT STANDS FOR LUCIFER'S BUTT DISCO WHAT DO YOU THINK

But the worst part about Tess is that she's really, really insecure. And not in a relatable, what-girl-doesn't-hate-the-way-she-looks? way, but in a non-stop pity party way. As In Imma smack you silly if you say another damn word about it. She's fat. She's ugly. She's poor. She's socially awkward. She says the wrong things. We get it, Tess, you're the worst. Can we get back to the non-plot, please?

Yes, Tess, it's because you're fat. Everything is because you're fat. Climate change. War in the Middle East. Voldemort's return to power. All because you're fat.

But of course, Max becomes totally smitten with her upon their third creeptastic meeting, and somehow they start dating, which is achieved with such little fanfare that I actually missed it. That's right. The part where the two main characters became a couple did not even register on my radar. That's how little impact the "emotional" moments of this book had.

Ditto the romance. Like... whatever. I did not give one flying frittatta about Max and Tess. I have no idea why they were in love, or how they fell in love. They were both horrible, boring people who should be in therapy.



I love boarding school stories, and I love fish out of water stories, and I love ghost stories. So a confluence of all three of these things should have worked for me. But the boarding school aspect was dull. Tess struggled with the most stereotypical rich bitch mean girls on the planet. I mean, she is basically Jenny Humphrey, and they are basically Blair and Serena, and she is poor and ungroomed and deserves constant reminds of her inferiority. Whatever.. Must I really be forced to read about yet another clique of supernaturally beautiful rich divas with unlimited access to their daddys' platinum AmEx cards, who talk about nothing but manicures and clothes and dieting and popping pills? It's so beyond cliche now that it's actually offensive. As if all private school kids are like this. And Tess! She's so special because she eats food and she doesn't color her hair and that's why Max likes her!

No. He literally says that. "I like you because you don't know what to wear." Real flattering, jerkface. So if she suddenly developed a sense of style you wouldn't like her anymore? True love right there.



And then there's the supernatural element. Yawn. Predictable. Everything happened exactly as I thought it would, and Tess was so behind the times it was annoying.

There is almost something there in this book. The concept and setup are pretty great. The writing is simplistic, and at times irritating, but it's not awful. I actually really liked aspects of Devon, Tess's roommate, who was the deceased Becca's old roommate and ex-best friend. She's charming one moment, heinous the next, and it's appropriately unsettling. But this book never reaches full boil. It's at a simmer. An annoying, spineless, insta-lovey simmer.

I just wrote and deleted a whole long diatribe about the original novel and how this book deviates from it in ways that are upsetting, but I'd rather judge this book on it's own merits, for those who haven't had a chance to read Rebecca (do!). Needless to say, I think it's way better than this.

And UGH. The ending. Eye roll. It was supposed to be so dramatic and emotional but I just found myself giggling. This is a pretty readable book, and may appeal to some people. It just really pushed my buttons, and I read it right after a string of other disappointing debuts, so I just wasn't in the mood for yet another lackluster read. I'm probably being too harsh on this one, but it drove me nuts.

I promise good reviews are on the horizon. I'm as tired of writing Negative Nancy reviews as you probably are of reading them!

PierceFest: Alanna: The First Adventure

In case you need a refresher on what PierceFest, aka the five-month-long celebration of all things related to fantasy writer/goddess Tamora Pierce, is, read all about it here!

The month of May belongs to the series that introduced us to the world of Tortall and Tamora's genius: The Song of the Lioness, starring Alanna, the bravest and best Lady Knight and my childhood hero. If you're a Tamora Pierce newbie, then you should definitely start here, since it was Pierce's first published novel. I've put together some reviews of all the books (as non-spoilery as possible, though there will be mild spoilers) for both the newbies and those who need a refresher. Heck, even for those who read the books last week, like I did.

If you're not a Pierce newbie, and really do want a full plot refresher, the Wikipedia pages have very spoilerrific summaries.

These are the covers I grew up with. In fact, I am holding these four books in my hands right now.

Book One
Alanna: The First Adventure
Goodreads

"From now on I'm Alan of Trebond, the younger twin. I'll be a knight." 

And so young Alanna of Trebond begins the journey to knighthood. Though a girl, Alanna has always craved the adventure and daring allowed only for boys; her twin brother, Thom, yearns to learn the art of magic. So one day they decide to switch places: Disguised as a girl, Thom heads for the convent to learn magic; Alanna, pretending to be a boy, is on her way to the castle of King Roald to begin her training as a page.

But the road to knighthood is not an easy one. As Alanna masters the skills necessary for battle, she must also learn to control her heart and to discern her enemies from her allies.

Filled with swords and sorcery, adventure and intrigue, good and evil, Alanna's first adventure begins -- one that will leard to the fulfillment of her dreams and the magical destiny that will make her a legend in her land.

So here's what you need to know about Book One. Alanna is a noble ten-year-old with the world's most neglectful father and a twin brother. (Fun Gillian fact: I also have a twin brother. This obviously means I am Alanna of Trebond, except I hate exercise and would never be able to pull off being a boy and am scared of horses and don't like violence. So clearly we're exactly the same person.) She wants to become a knight, something only boys are allowed to do, and her brother, Thom, wants to become a sorcerer. When Thom is ordered to train for knighthood and Alanna is ordered to go to the convent, Alanna (love that she's always the instigator of her own fate!) decides to hell with that. She and Thom are going to switch places. She'll head south to become a page in the palace, masquerading as a boy named "Alan", and Thom will head to the City of the Gods to become a world-class sorcerer. Oh, and Alanna is super duper talented at magic, but she hates and fears her Gift. Thom, obviously, does not.

And Thom and Alanna's Gift is purple. IT'S PERFECT.

So Alanna heads off to Corus, Tortall's capital city, to train and train hard. Pagehood is like being a Marine but worse because she's eleven and has to hide who she really is. She also she has to deal with bullies (Ralon of Malven, you are the worst) and not being as good at weaponry as she wants to be. But fierce, tough, unbreakable Alanna is the most stubborn little person you ever did meet. She is also the sassiest little snark-monster, and I love it.

Gendry: You shouldn't insult people who are bigger than you.



Alanna's snarkiest hits:

"I was told pages were supposed to learn manners. Whoever told me that must've been mistaken."


"I'd as soon kiss a pig! Is that what you've been doing--kissing pigs? Or being kissed!"


"Take it back. Or I'll stuff your mouth with dung--since you like it so much!"


Duke Gareth: "Mithros, boy, can't you think of a better excuse?"
Alanna: "This one works so well, sir. It has tradition behind it.... Well, sir, you don't believe me and I know you don't believe me, but pride is satisfied all around, Your Grace."


"You disgrace your name. D'you want me to write it down for you? Oh-- I forgot. You can't read, either."

 

She's lucky to have several fiercely devoted friends: George, king of thieves (and the love of my life); Prince Jonathan, a fellow page and heir to the throne (and the other love of my life); big, sarcastic Gary of Naxen; even bigger Raoul of Goldenlake; wise Sir Myles of Olau, court drunk and brilliant history teacher; secretive Alexander of Tirragen, the most talented swordsman at court; and gruff, surly Coram Smythesson, her man-at-arms and expert swordsman who practically raised her back home in Trebond.

Oh, yeah, and then there's Duke Roger of Conte. Handsome, clever, and the most powerful sorcerer in the world, Duke Roger is second in line to the throne (behind his cousin Jonathan, aka Alanna's bestie). Alanna doesn't like or trust the duke, but she can't exactly put her finger on why. And Duke Roger doesn't like or trust Alan much, either. *Insert dramatic music* Needless to say, INTRIGUE ABOUNDS.

Alanna: The First Adventure takes place over three years of Alanna's life at court. She deals with deadly disease and even deadlier sword fights with ancient magical entities. She struggles with her own magic and with her nemesis, the sly and slippery Duke. There are desert tribesmen and magic swords and dealings with gods. There is also the greatest gender-reveal scene in the history of literature. It's very... revealing, shall we say.

Alanna: The First Adventure is very much Alanna's story (duh). This a girl who is stubborn to a fault. When she discovers she is an absolutely wretched swordsman, and too small to be taken seriously by anybody, she decides she's going to change that. Alanna earns her skills through hard work, practice, and grit. Through broken bones, sleepless nights, and constant exhaustion.



Coram: Some learn the sword. They work all the extra minutes they have. They don't let a piece of metal--or Aram Sklaw--beat them.
Alanna: It's possible to learn to be a natural?

Alanna's not a girl who ever accepts the cards the gods have dealt her (both her biggest flaw and her strongest virtue).

This didn't make sense to Alanna, so she ignored it.

She's still totally terrified of both her magic and having people love her, and she absolutely loathes the womanly parts of herself (the scene where she first discovers her chest jiggling is a classic, as is the tragic/hilarious scene of Alanna's first period. Poor girl), but it's the first adventure. We'll get to watch her grow. And trust me, you don't want to miss a second of it.

After all, the book doesn't end with the words The End. It ends with the words The Beginning.

Notable quotables:

 "It's harder to heal than it is to kill. The Mother knows why, but you've got a gift for both."
--Old Maude

 “I truly love our Code of Chivalry. We are taught that noblemen must take everything and say nothing. Noblemen must stand alone. Well, we're men, and men aren't born to stand alone."
--Myles of Olau

 “Why does this mean so much to you, Jon?"
The Prince turned. "Because (Alan)'s my friend. Because I always know where he stands, and where I stand with him. Because I think he'd die for me and--and I think I'd die for him. Is that enough?”
--Jon, continuing to be perfection personified

“Excuse me," she said politely. "But you can't have him. Not yet. He's going to come back with me.”
-Alanna, badass mofo

 “Girl, boy or dancing bear, you're the finest page--the finest squire-to-be-- at court."
-Jon

"That's because I'm the only one with insanity in my family."
-Alanna

"You called me 'Jon'."
--Jonathan

 “I believe in deeds, not words.”
--Alanna

"Me. I think you should pick me."
--Alanna

"Alanna, child, ye'll be happy only when ye learn t'live with who ye are."
-Coram

"So you can die. You can feel pain."
-Alanna

"I am not often kind, Alan."
-Duke Roger


So what say ye, Pierce Fest followers? If you're a newbie, does Alanna: The First Adventure sound like the book for you? (Don't say no.) And for those of you who have read the book, what do you love about it?

Review: Everneath by Brodi Ashton

Review: Everneath by Brodi Ashton
Goodreads
Rating: I was not exepecting to be as engrossed in this as I was. Dark, romantic, suspenseful, with the ultimate ticking clock--this is paranormal done right!



Last spring, Nikki Beckett vanished, sucked into an underworld known as the Everneath. Now she's returned--to her old life, her family, her boyfriend--before she's banished back to the underworld . . . this time forever. She has six months before the Everneath comes to claim her, six months for good-byes she can't find the words for, six months to find redemption, if it exists.

Nikki longs to spend these precious months forgetting the Everneath and trying to reconnect with her boyfriend, Jack, the person most devastated by her disappearance--and the one person she loves more than anything. But there's just one problem: Cole, the smoldering immortal who enticed her to the Everneath in the first place, has followed Nikki home. Cole wants to take over the throne in the underworld and is convinced Nikki is the key to making it happen. And he'll do whatever it takes to bring her back, this time as his queen.

As Nikki's time on the Surface draws to a close and her relationships begin slipping from her grasp, she is forced to make the hardest decision of her life: find a way to cheat fate and remain on the Surface with Jack or return to the Everneath and become Cole's queen.

Everneath is a captivating story of love, loss, and immortality from debut author Brodi Ashton.


The cover: Prettyyyyyyy. This is one of the best pretty dresses covers I've seen in a LONG time. Love the way the red dress bleeds into the black smoke. Gorgeous.

The story: So the other day I read a book that followed the typical recipe for paranormal romance word for word, but with some wood elves thrown in, and I felt compelled to lay out the Cliche Paranormal Romance Recipe. The best thing about Everneath, in my opinion, is how completely it deviates from that recipe. It keeps all the elements I like to see in paranormal romance--love, darkness, hot guys, and the supernatural-- while presenting them in a totally different structure.

Nikki Beckett (I wonder if Ms. Ashton is a Castle fan) is a modern day Persephone. She's been in the Everneath for six months, letting the Everliving Cole Feed on her emotions and soul. Somehow, miraculously, she survives, and gets to go back to the Surface and her old life for six months. Back to Jack, the ex-boyfriend whose face got her through the Feed, and her family and friends, all of whom thought she abandoned them. But at the end of those six months, she must return to the Everneath and the Tunnels, wherein a dark fate awaits her. Unless she agrees to be queen of the Everliving court with Cole, which she emphatically does not want.

 

The stakes. They are HIGH. And I love it.

I literally could not stop reading. Ashton does this very clever thing of always mentioning how much time Nikki has left at the top of each chapter, which heightened all the tension a million times over. Another thing I loved about this book is that the Underworld and Hades, aka the creep who kidnaps Persephone in the original myth, are not romanticized. The Underworld is literally hell, and it's the humans who are worth loving. Cole has layers, and attractive aspects, but at the end of the day he's the guy who did this to Nikki and has his own agenda. And I loooved Ashton's version of the Everneath, with the Shades and the Feed and how times moves so slowly. I loved that Ashton incorporated Egyption mythology and the Orpheus myth as well. I would have loved to have seen more about the Eveneath, how it looks, how it functions. I loved what we got, but I wanted more. But I just love the concept. The Everneath is ever-awesome.



You would think Nikki, an emotionally drained, traumatized girl who has ended up hurting everyone who loves her, would be a difficult character to relate to. But I latched onto her so tightly it was almost painful. I felt her emotions. I suffered with her. I was Team Nikki from the get go.

I was also Team Jack. Mmm, Jack. I'm pretty sure guys like him don't exist in high school, but they should. They definitely should. I was afraid he'd be very typical-- he's popular, good looking quarterback-- but his love for Nikki is layered and strong and most definitely swoon-worthy. The Nikki-Jack dynamic is pretty much the entire focus of the novel, with really lovely flashbacks to their relationship before Nikki went under. It provided such a great contrast. You can see how different Nikki is, and how much they've both lost.

HE'S A GUY.

My main complaint is how the plot and Nikki pay little service to her grieving family or the loss of her mother. It's a romance, so I wasn't expecting Ashton to skip on the Nikki-Jack angst fest (not a bad thing-- I liked their angst fest), but I felt Nikki's little brother and father were ignored in this book almost to the point of unbelievability. They made a big point about how it was reciprocated love that got her through, but I'm pretty sure her brother and dad also love her. And I'm pretty sure if I came home after six whole months, I'd being doing whatever I could to repair the family relationships first. I swear 80 pages went by where little Tommy didn't even get mentioned. I hope to see more of the Beckett family in the sequel, and hope they finally get their due from Nikki. Ditto Jules, Nikki's best friend, who seemed to exist solely for Jack reasons.

Then there's the-love-triangle-that-isn't. I LOVED it. Cole, our Hades, is fascinating and truly cares for Nikki, albeit in a twisted, selfish way, but he's never portrayed as a healthy romantic option. And Nikki never considers him to be. She's all Jack, and it's nice to see. Nikki doesn't trust him, and she really shouldn't. He's an immortal being essentially stalking her, trying to persuade her to give up and come be Queen of the Everneath. He's darkly attractive, and he makes sure to remind her over and over about the dreadful fate that awaits her in the Tunnels if she refuses to be an Everliving with her.

THE ENDING THOUGH AHHHHH. It made me scream, in the best way possible. I had a feeling it was going to end up there, AND IT DID, and oh my God, it's horrible, but it's got me itching for the sequel, also. Which is always a good thing.

So thanks, Book.

 

Two flaming thumbs up.

Introducing... PierceFest!

Ladies and gentleman, girls and boys, bloggers and booklovers, booksellers and book connoisseurs – welcome to PierceFest!

What is PierceFest?

PierceFest is the brainchild of a conversation between Alexa (of Alexa Reads Books) Gaby (of Queen Ella Bee Reads), Rachel (of Rachel Reads), and me, Gillian, the ravishing creature standing before you. We bonded over our mutual love for Tamora Pierce and her books and started reminiscing about the good old days when we devoured every novel she had to offer us. (I distinctly remember staying up all night--literally, all night, no sleeping-- to finish the final book in The Song of the Lioness quartet.) Even though Ms. Pierce is a well-known name, we certainly felt like it would be a fun idea to celebrate Tamora Pierce and her amazing novels – and thus, PierceFest was born!

During PierceFest, we will be celebrating all the books Ms. Pierce has written that have been published so far (and that’s a grand total of 27, not including her short story collection). Each month, one of the hosts will be spotlighting a series on her blog. There will be reviews, discussion posts, polls and other special and fun posts! There will also be one amazing giveaway (which you’ll find out more about later). 

What does the schedule look like?

PierceFest will be running from May-September, finishing up in time for the release of Battle Magic in October. The actual schedule is as follows:

May: Kick-off Post (this is it!) + Song of the Lioness quartet (hosted by Gillian right here!)
June: The Immortals quartet (hosted by Gaby)
July: Circle of Magic/Circle Opens/Circle Reforged (hosted by Alexa)
August: Protector of the Small (hosted by Rachel)
September: Trickster duo/Beka Cooper trilogy + Wrap-up Post (all 4 blogs)

How can I participate?

The easy answer to this, of course, is to read along with us as we tackle each series! If you’re a Pierce newbie, then this will be the perfect time for you to start reading the series and getting to know her work. And if you’re a long-time Pierce fan, this will be a fun avenue to discuss the books and the characters and the general awesomeness that surrounds Tamora Pierce! Either way, we hope you join us. You can use the official hashtag #PierceFest when chatting on Twitter about all things Tamora Pierce – we’ll be around and ready to chat with you!

If you’re interested in participating in the event in a contributor capacity, please feel free to send an email. For general inquiries and the like, you can email Alexa [ alexalovesbooks (at) gmail (dot) com ]. For specific series info or interest, you can go and email the various hosts in charge of that series.

Is there a giveaway?

As mentioned, we will be hosting this big giveaway in honor of this most awesome author!

THE PRIZE:

1 set of any Tamora Pierce series (which is, at max, FOUR books)

THE RULES:

1. The giveaway is open INTERNATIONALLY, as long as Book Depository ships to you.
2. All entries will be verified, so please do not forget to include the correct information.
3. Winner will be contacted as soon as they are chosen. They will have 48 hours to respond with the pertinent information, or their win will be forfeit and another will be chosen.
4. The bloggers will not be held responsible for condition or timeliness of the book shipment, as they are being shipped by a third party organization. Please note that we will try to keep you informed of the status of your prize.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

We sincerely hope you'll join us in celebrating our love of all things Tamora Pierce during PierceFest. It's bound to be lots of fun!

Don't just take our word for it!

We're not the only huge Tamora Pierce fans out in the blogging community. It's wonderful to realize that there are so many of us who love her. Here's what a few other people had to say about Ms. Pierce - and you better believe it's all good things!

Jen from Almost Grown-Up: "Kick-ass female heroines, unbelievable levels of world-building, and magic that enthralls. What's not to love about Tamora Pierce's work?"

Amy from Tripping Over Books: "It took me some time to find my way to Tamora Pierce, and I'm both so glad that I finally did and sad that I didn't find her sooner. Her stories are full of young girls and young women defying the expectations of their gender and forging their own paths; they're so special. Spending time with Tamora's characters in Tortall--a vibrant, well-fashioned world--is one of my favorite things to do."

Anna from I Am Here For This: "I've been reading and re-reading Tamora Pierce's books since I was twelve, and 15 years later, she's remains #1 on my list of Authors Whose New Books I Will Buy & Read Immediately. She taught me both to love high fantasy and to appreciate the unique pleasure of reading about smart, talented, willful women and girls who do amazing things, and if I ever get to meet her in person, I fully expect to burst into tears."

Sarah (Twitter handle: @SarahO97): "I first fell in love with Tamora Pierce's books by randomly discovering the Immortals series in my local library at the age of 12. Ever since, I've found myself enamored with the magical realm of Tortall and its inhabitants."

So yes-- May shall be Song of the Lioness month here at Writer of Wrongs!

I could not resist.

The month in which I shall write many odes to all things Alanna, talk about the awesome things her character has done for all her lady character descendants, and, MOST IMPORTANT, settle the issue of that love triangle once and for all. And for you Alanna newbies, or folks who need a memory refresher, I'll be doing mini reviews/recaps of each book!