Twitterquette

Or, How to Behave Like a Fully Developed Member of Society While on Social Media



When I first got on Twitter, I though it was the coolest dang thing in the world that all these formerly inaccessible authors were just right there. I could talk to them! I could let them know how much I loved them! And sometimes they even interact back, like we're all the same carbon-based life forms inhabiting the very same planet or utilizing the very same interwebs or something. It's just mind-boggling. Like when you look in those magazines where they have those Stars: They're People Too! sections. "OH MY GOD. Jennifer Aniston buys coffee?! I buy coffee. That is just... nuts."

But there's an illusion on social media that, because you can't see the person on the other end of an interaction, they're not a real person. This problem is only compounded when you throw fame into the mix. Our culture sees people of notoriety as public property. You think because you know who that author or actor or singer is--know what they look like, sound like, write like-- they must know you, too. They owe you something. They're not really people who get tired or maybe don't want to respond to all 450 @replies they just received.

Most of the time, Twitter is an awesome place for fans and authors and bookish people to interact.
Most people, I'm delighted to say, keep it pretty respectful on Twitter when it comes to authors. But lately I've seen a lot of instances where the denizens of the Twitterverse have flouted the rules of common decency (and common sanity). Here are a few quick and dirty Twitter lifestyle tips to keep our favorite social network a fun and happy place.

DO NOT tweet an author the same message over fifty times. Yes. I saw a person do this. I've seen several people do this. And I know it was over fifty times, because this person very conveniently numbered each tweet. I won't show the actual tweet, but it was very similar to this:

HI @VeryPopularAuthor! I love you but you never notice me! PLEASE respond :) -45
HI @VeryPopularAuthor! I love you but you never notice me! PLEASE respond :) -46
HI @VeryPopularAuthor! I love you but you never notice me! PLEASE respond :) -47



CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THAT MUST BE LIKE IN YOUR FEED. It doesn't matter how much you love an author, that's harassment. Seriously, I would cry.



DO NOT get angry or hurt if authors don't respond. I'm sure they've got a LOT of people tweeting at them. Just because they don't respond, it doesn't mean they hate you.

DO NOT demand things of authors. "Please reply!!!" "PLEASE read this book!" "You HAVE to do X and Y and Z." Nobody owes you anything on the internet (unless you are a banker and dealing with a client or something who literally owes you things. But pshh, like any of us are bankers). On the other hand, it's perfectly okay to jokingly wail at authors, "You MUST kill off that wretched second love interest because he's clearly interfering with my ship", because you're not really expecting them to obey you (and if you are, tighten those screws a bit).

 

DO show genuine enthusiasm for an author's work. I'm not an author, but I can see how happy it makes a lot of them to know readers are passionate about their books and characters. Let them know how awesome you think their stories are!

DO NOT beg for authors (or anyone, for that matter) to follow you back. Nobody should feel pressured to follow anybody, and you should never feel it's your right for someone you don't know--particularly someone well known-- to follow you. I've seen people get really insistent about it with authors and it is magnificently creepy.



DO let authors know their books are giving you all the feels. They should know how they make us suffer (in a Ron Weasley "You're gonna suffer, but you're gonna be happy about it" way). They love that. It means they have power.

DO NOT TROLL AUTHORS. Don't be nasty. Don't say mean things about them or their books to them. Lord knows there are books I hate, but there are NO authors I hate as people. Because remember-- they're people. And I've never @replied an author with a link to a negative review, nor have I ever tweeted an author a negative opinion about his or her book. Be polite about things. Be positive. Don't go out of your way to ruin someone's day. It really is an actual human being at the end of that Twitter handle.

DO NOT ask intrusive personal questions. "Hey @VeryPopularAuthor, how's your day going?" GOOD. "Hey @VeryPopularAuthor, are you SURE you're actually straight?" BAD. "Hey @VeryPopularAuthor, I saw it was your birthday today! Happy birthday!" GOOD. "Hey @VeryPopularAuthor, your ass looks so damn fine in that photo I took of you with my telephoto lens." BAD.



So you see, the rules are actually pretty simple. At the end of the day, Twitter is a social forum, and it's meant for socializing! Interact away! But just because you're on the internet doesn't mean you should interact in a way that would seem uncomfortable in real life. If you wouldn't say it to their face, DON'T say it to their Twitter handle. Because ultimately, we all read our Twitter handles with our faces. So it's pretty much like you did.

These rules can also be used when interacting with bloggers, agents, publishers, celebrities of any kind, and even total nobodies! Tweet kindly and responsibly, kids. It's good for your skin.

What Twitter codes have you seen broken before? What rules do you always try to follow?