Book Haul Vlog, or the One Where We Read Fictions

I go so many good books this week, and this week's vlog was extra awesome because Christina from A Reader of Fictions is visiting me! Also, Ginger the dog barrels her way into the video, as always.



For review:
The Impossible Knife of Memory by Laurie Halse Anderson (thanks, Penguin!)

Purchased:
Touching the Surface by Kimberly Sabatini

Gift from the madre:
Palace of Spies by Sarah Zettel 

Won:
The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider (thanks, Epic Reads!)

Gifts from Christina:
Man Made Boy by Jon Skovron
Freakboy by Kristin Elizabeth Clark
Red by Alison Cherry
Cress by Marissa Meyer 

Gift from Shae:
The Time Fetch by Amy Herrick

#RBWL: Reader-Blogger Wishlist!

Edit: This post was supposed to go up yesterday, but because of blog scheduling shenanigans (aka, Gillian CANNOT READ A CALENDAR), it's going up today. SORRY!

What is #RBWL, you ask? Why, it's only the greatest Twitter invention of the 21st century! (May or may not be true.) It stands for Reader-Blogger Wishlist, and it's something that the brilliant Shae at Shae Has Left the Room came up with a couple months ago.

Literary agents on Twitter routinely tweet about the subjects or plots they want on their manuscript submissions wishlist, or #MSWL. One day, when they were doing this, Shae cleverly decided to create a buddy hashtag for bloggers and readers in which we tweet about the things we most wish to read about. I did a recap of it here, and Shae's recap is over here.

(Head on over to her blog, Molli's blog (Once Upon a Prologue), and Jess's blog (Read My Breath Away) to see their promo posts!)

Why am I telling you all this? Because we're going to start this madness all over again! On Monday, October 21st at 12 EST/9 PM PST, we’re going to tweet our wishlists on Twitter for as long as we want to. We would love it if you joined us! You'll get to tell the world all the things you love to read about. Maybe somebody will listen! Maybe you'll inspire an aspiring author who's struggling with their manuscript. Maybe you'll validate and inspire them in regards to their concept.

Anyway, it'll be tons of bookish fun, and I hope you join in!

Review: Red by Alison Cherry

Review: Red by Alison Cherry
Goodreads 
Release date: October 8th, 2013
Publisher: Delacorte
Series: No
Source: gift from Christina
Rating: A blah and frustrating read that sadly doesn't succeed as a satire.



Felicity St. John has it all—loyal best friends, a hot guy, and artistic talent. And she’s right on track to win the Miss Scarlet pageant. Her perfect life is possible because of just one thing: her long, wavy, coppery red hair.

Having red hair is all that matters in Scarletville. Redheads hold all the power—and everybody knows it. That’s why Felicity is scared down to her roots when she receives an anonymous note:

I know your secret.

Because Felicity is a big fake. Her hair color comes straight out of a bottle. And if anyone discovered the truth, she’d be a social outcast faster than she could say "strawberry blond." Her mother would disown her, her friends would shun her, and her boyfriend would dump her. And forget about winning that pageant crown and the prize money that comes with it—money that would allow her to fulfill her dream of going to art school.

Felicity isn’t about to let someone blackmail her life away. But just how far is she willing to go to protect her red cred?


The cover: I mean, her hair already looks fake on the cover. Who has maroon hair, I ask you?

The story: This is going to be a very un-fun review to write. I've been looking forward to this book fro a long time, and had it on a lot of my Most Anticipated Reads of 2013 lists. I love a good satire, and sadly, this is nothing like a good satire. It's not to say this is a complete waste of 300 pages, but when you go for something so high concept like this, it's all in the execution, and that's where Cherry falls flat.

It's the tone. For a satire, it needs to be sharp and witty or so broad and over the top. But Cherry (unintentionally, I suspect) went for realistic, which just makes you ask all the questions you shouldn't, such as: how is this place real? Why isn't the news all over this racist, prejudiced redhead colony where they actively shun and discriminate against brunette people? Why does Felicity not understand that there are a million salons in the world where she can get her hair died? How can you be this stupid, Felicity, how?

 

Because Cherry doesn't tell the story with the right tone, it doesn't read as a satire, and it all falls apart. It's just a frustrating experience, because none of it works. I was excepting a quirky, bitingly funny, quirky, over the top satire that pokes fun of elitism and prejudice. Cherry came up with a brilliant idea, because how silly is judging people based on hair color? That kind of absurd central idea is the stuff great satires are born of. But because the book is so serious and has to do so much with Felicity's serious emotions, none of it works at all. Because you don't buy it as a satire, all the redhead prejudice just comes across as racism, Felicity's horrific mother comes across as... well, horrific, and Scarletville seems more like a haven for sociopaths than redheads.



Also: Felicity. What a drag of a protagonist. She's weak-willed and, worst of all, she's BORING. SO HORRIBLY BORING. Get a backbone, girl! The only characters of any merit are Jonathan, the adorable if under-developed love interest, and Ivy, the kick-ass best friend who is the only redeeming quality in Red. Seriously, can Ivy be the main character? Did she suck all the personality out of everybody else, or something?

The ending is so unresolved. I blinked at the final page in confusion. It sort of felt like I'd been reading most of this for nothing. I was expecting more significant ramifications because of the Big Finale, outside of how it affects Felicity's life, especially since I don't really give a flying fruitcake about Felicity. I mean, Felicity showed one moment of backbone, but doesn't give much indication that she'll continue to have one. Also, the girl blackmailing her could have gone a bit further, just to up the satire-ness of it all.

Blegh. I don't even know what else to say. This book was a fail. Red thinks that it's tackling so many issues in a clever and funny way, but it's not. It thinks it's thought-provoking, but it's not. It's sad, because I know Alison Cherry can really write. I'll be curious about her next book, but I'll definitely read the reviews first.

Blegh.

Review: Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead

Review: Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
Goodreads 
Release date: August 16th, 2007
Publisher: Razorbill
Series: Yes, #1 in the Vampire Academy series
Source: purchased
Rating: Meh? Yay? Not sure? Great MC and love interest, blah mostly everything else.



St. Vladimir’s Academy isn’t just any boarding school—it’s a hidden place where vampires are educated in the ways of magic and half-human teens train to protect them. Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir, a bodyguard for her best friend Lissa, a Moroi Vampire Princess. They’ve been on the run, but now they’re being dragged back to St. Vladimir’s—the very place where they’re most in danger...

Rose and Lissa become enmeshed in forbidden romance, the Academy’s ruthless social scene, and unspeakable nighttime rituals. But they must be careful lest the Strigoi—the world’s fiercest and most dangerous vampires—make Lissa one of them forever.


The cover: LOATHSOME. Why is Angelina Jolie smirking at me from behind an iron gate? Who thought this was a good idea?

The story: It's no secret that this book series is popular. And I mean NYT-bestseller, 187k-Goodreads reviews, movie-adaptation popular. I always wade into uber-hyped books with more than a little trepidation, and because of those fears, I honestly don't know if I enjoyed Vampire Academy more than I expected, or if I was disappointed in it.

One thing I know I don't like: the concept. Well, half the concept. Vampire Academy  is about a dhampir girl named Rose, best friend and psychically-linked guardian of Moroi Princess Lissa. They attend an academy (surprise!) where they learn things like Slavic Art, for some bizarre reason. I really enjoyed Mead's take on living vampires (Moroi), half-vampires (dhampirs) and evil dead vampires (Moroi). I thought the idea of a boarding school where they all study/carouse/mean girl together was totally cheesy. Which I understand is the basic premise of the book, but whatever. And while it feels totally unoriginal now, I can appreciate that when this book was published all the way back in 2007, it probable felt pretty fresh.

I really enjoyed Rose. She's a sassy bad-ass fighter girl with high self-confidence and a low tolerance for bullshit. She's a refreshing heroine in a category that's overloaded with shy, retiring MCs. She's brash, reckless, and makes some tremendously foolish decisions that never diminish my love for her. She's hot and she knows it and she's always willing to go to battle for Lissa, the person she loves the most. Their friendship was a central part of the plot, which I also enjoyed. Overall, Vampire Academy is a fun read with a few central mysteries

I think the ultimate problem with this book, fun as it is, is that it just didn't light my world on fire. Richelle Mead's prose varies from totally passable to flat and clunky:

"Oh God," I said. How horrible. I tightened my hands in his. He squeezed back. "That's horrible. And she... she just let it happen?"



The characters also vary from vivid and charismatic (Rose, Lissa, Christian, Dimitri) to who was that again? (Mason, Natalie). Christian is secretly the best character in the entire novel. As for the mystery, I enjoyed that Rose, attempting to figure out what's going on, did not seem Too Stupid To Live, and did seem to heed nearly all of the warning signs flung at her (I did figure one or two things out before she did, but this is obviously because I am brilliant and deserve all nice things). The big action-packed endings felt totally anemic and underwritten. The big scenes should have been punchier and longer, though I did like what was happening. There was drama and high stakes (WORDPLAY) and all that jazz, even if I didn't feel like Mead completely delivered in executing her plot to the fullest.

You know what she did execute? Romance. I totally bought the sexual tension between Rose and her hot Russian instructor, Dimitri, despite the slightly squicky age difference, the hair, and the duster. (The duster.)

And then, suddenly, he was there, charging down the hallway like Death in a cowboy duster.



Despite the ridiculousness of that quote,  I ship it. There were shippy feelings. Yayyyy. In the end, Vampire Academy is a fun, if unextraordinary, read. I was really hoping I'd have stronger feelings about, but at least I didn't dislike it. There were aspects of it I actually almost loved, and I'm pretty interested in continuing the series, even though it won't be one of my favorites ever.

Review: Premeditated by Josin L. McQuein

Review: Premeditated by Josin L. McQuein
Goodreads 
Release date: October 8th, 2013
Publisher: Delacorte
Series: No
Source: copy from the publisher
Rating: SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER awesome thriller with SPOILER SPOILER kickass heroine SPOILER SPOILER lots of feels and especially SPOILER SPOILER.

 

 A week ago, Dinah’s cousin Claire cut her wrists.

Five days ago, Dinah found Claire’s diary and discovered why.

Three days ago, Dinah stopped crying and came up with a plan.

Two days ago, she ditched her piercings and bleached the black dye from her hair.

Yesterday, knee socks and uniform plaid became a predator’s camouflage.

Today, she’ll find the boy who broke Claire.

By tomorrow, he’ll wish he were dead.


The cover: Yessss. So much mystery, and lurking, and watching. She's totally biding her time before she strikes.

The story:  I've been waiting for this book a long, long, long time. I first heard about it on the website Query Shark, where aspiring writers post their queries for critique by agent Janet Reid (Fun Gillian Momet: Ms. Reid once published a fake query I wrote for giggles. Go forth if you dare.) Anyway, sometime in, I think, 2011, McQuein posted her query for premeditated--and it was completely identical to the above synopsis. Seriously, it was such a freaking good query that clearly it got her a book deal and even made it onto the jacket flap, which never happens, I'm sure. But come on. How much do you want to read that story? SO MUCH.

I will say that the synopsis is a touch misleading. Dinah does start out massively Veronica-Mars-hardcore, steely-eyed and cold-hearted and thirsting for revenge. But obviously, she softens, and while normally I like my badass heroines to stay badass, I also enjoyed watching Dinah question everything about herself and her mission. It's so easy to get lost in a revenge plan, especially one as diabolical as the one Dinah sets up, so I was glad to see her falter in her surety and have some real conflicted moments and doubt. But when Dinah is badass... SHE IS BADASS.

 

I love this girl. She's sharp, she's angry, and she's fiercely protective of Claire, her little cousin, who's currently comatose after slashing her own wrists. In a haze of grief, Dinah starts to read Claire's journal, trying to find out what happened to her happy and bubbly cousin--and she discovers that a boy named Brooks Walden is to blame. So she transfers to the elite Lowry School, where Brooks attends and Claire was supposed to go, with the so aim to destroy Brooks Walden, no matter what it takes. Dinah, essentially, plays a part. She bleaches the black dye from her hair, takes out her piercings, and pretends to be any old Lowry girl so she can get close to Brooks and find out what it takes to break him.



Obviously, things get complicaaaaated. Is Brooks the jackass as much of a jackass as she thought? How much is she lying when she pretends to be this Lowry girl with a crush on Brooks? Is there more to all of these Lowry kids than she thought? And just how far is she willing to go? It's not easy destroying someone else's life, even if they've already done the same.

UGH, this book is so hard to write about. Anything else, and we're getting into major spoiler territory. I will say i totally saw the ending twist coming, as it's pretty well telegraphed, but that didn't make it any less satisfying. THis is a feels-heavy book, to be sure, and it's not nearly as action-packed as I expected. McQuein's prose is clear and sharp, and while I loved Dinah's relationships with her two best friends, they are EXCEPTIONALLY quippy. I mean, you know me. I love a good quip. I talk very quippily, often to the point where people never know if I'm serious or not. And their joking is hilarious, and I always enjoy reading about smart and sarcastic teens. But their quirkiness might have gone one notch too far.

Dinah is a wonderful character, though. She's got layers and very strong feelings and she's a strange and relatable mix of confident and confused. I literally can't discuss ANY of the other characters, though, except to say I did NOT see the twist with Chandi coming, but it made me cheer, and that I love the way McQuein handles a certain risky topic. She's firmly on the side of the victims and portrays how unfairly stacked the deck almost always is. Dinah has a hideously self-centered mother and a father who's finally learning to stand his ground against her, as is Dinah. It's a treat to watch all these story lines and character arcs unfold.

GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS BOOK, FOOLS, SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT. I'M HOLDING BACK SO MUCH. I got so many feels from this book, awe and grief and humor and anger. It hit on all the points a good thriller should. (Seriously, I cackled aloud at some of the dialogue. I would totally be friends with Dinah). And I would totally be in love with SPOILER. McQuein has found herself on my list of automatic-TBR-authors.

Book Haul Vlog, Or the One with a Surprise from Delacorte

Yayyyy, I vlogged this week! I missed vlogging. And I'm sure you all missed my glorious face. And by my glorious face, I obviously mean Ginger's glorious face.



Bloggers mentioned:

Gaby at Queen Ella Bee Reads
Christina at A Reader of Fictions
Carina at Carina's Books

Books mentioned:

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
Through the Ever Night by Veronica Rossi
The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater
Perfect Ruin by Lauren DeStefano
Premeditated  by Josin L. McQuein (thanks, Delacorte!)
Of Metal and Wishes by Sarah Fine (thanks, Simon and Schuster!)



 So that's it for this week! Next week Christina will be staying with me, so I'm sure there will be ALL KINDS of bloggy shenanigans in my next vlog. Leave me your links if you've got them!

The Sorting Hat: YA Heroines Edition

Sometimes, life is a little crazy or hectic or stressful. You've got homework, or family problems, or life problems, or book blogger problems (WHO SCHEDULED ALL THE BOOKS FOR SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER? GIVE ME THEIR NAMES. I WILL HUNT THEM DOWN. AND I WILL KICK THEIR SHINS) and you just need some mindless bookish fun, you know? Well, I was lovingly stroking my Harry Potter Special Edition Boxed Set, which was sitting next to my copy of The Hunger Games, when I started wondering what houses Katniss would be sorted into (Peeta is a Hufflepuff if I ever saw one).

Which got me thinking: where would I Sort ALL my favorite literary characters? MINDLESS FUN TIME! I got Ye Olde Sorty out of the Headmaster's office and put him on the job of sorting all the YA heroines on my shelves. Obviously, you could TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH ME (I had a HECK of a time Sorting Bella Swan, let me tell you). But here's where I think they'd maybe go.

Also: Slytherin does not equal evil. J.K. said it herself, yo. Apparently, after Harry Potter SAVED THE WORLD, Slytherin House lost its reputation for pure blood and dark magic.

By Gryffindor, the bravest were 
Prized far beyond the rest; 
For Ravenclaw, the cleverest 
would always be the best; 
For Hufflepuff, hard workers were 
Most worthy of admission; 
And power-hungry Slytherin 
loved those of great ambition.

Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins



Do not kill me. Like I said, Slytherins aren't evil. They're known for resourcefulness and a strong survival instinct. If that's not Katniss, then I don't know what is. She doesn't possess Slytherin's "great ambition", which makes her a strong candidate for Gryffindor (It's amazing how close the overlap was between Gryffindor and Slytherin, which makes a lot of sense. As Dumbledore would say, "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.") Katniss, in essence, is probably more Slytherin, but the choices she makes (in the arena in particular) end up more Gryffindor: brave and self-sacrificing.

Bella Swan from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer



Don't kill me again. Bella is brave and self-sacrificing to the point of recklessness and doesn't always think her plans through--signs of a true Gryffindor.

Anna Oliphant from Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins



Anna is friendly, works hard on her movie reviews (and acclimating to a strange country), and tries her best to be a loyal friend. I can totally see her fitting in with the Hufflepuffs.

Elisa from The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson

 

Elisa's intelligence, brilliant planning, and quick mind are what make her the hero of The Girl of Fire and Thorns trilogy. She is Ravenclaw all the way.

Alina from Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo



Alina, as an orphan, came from nothing and has always wanted to become somebody. She's got ambition, power, and leadership skills, and she'll need to be at her most Slytherinest to defeat the Darkling.

Celaena from Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas



Celaena, to me, is probably a bit of a hatstall. At first blush, she seemed primed for Slytherin, and probably argued with the hat to get put there (and probably threated to cut it into ribbons). But ultimately, the hat prevailed, and stuck her with those who are brave and true, seeing the potential in her.

Tris from Divergent by Veronica Roth



One could argue that Gryffindor is kind of like the Hogwarts equivalent of Dauntless, and maybe that's right in theory, but the Dauntless that Tris enters is definitely operating under a different concept of "courageous", and they definitely lack the chivalry aspect. Tris is strong-willed, focused on survival, and hates to show weakness. She's an odd mix of selfish and selfless. When the selfishness wins out, she's Slytherin for sure. But she could very easily be Gryffindor, too.

Juliette from Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi



 Honestly, I had NO clue where to sort Juliette. In the end, her love for and dependence on books, coupled with her sometimes crippling inability to act, pushed her into Ravenclaw.

Cath from Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell



Hufflepuffs' defining feature is their loyalty, and Cath is nothing if not loyal to her favorite fandom, that of the Simon Snow book series. Plus, she's shy and reclusive, kind of like a badger in its den. Christina from Christina Reads YA said on Twitter, though that she might have put Cath in Ravenclaw because she reminds her of a slightly more present Luna, which I TOTALLY see and agree with!

Katsa from Graceling by Kristin Cashore



Katsa came so close to being in Slytherin because of what her Grace ACTUALLY is. But the think about Katsa is she doesn't use her Slytherin skills for Slytherin ends. She uses them to save others, which makes her, in the end, a courageous Gryffindor.

Cinder from Cinder by Marissa Meyer



Cinder is clever (I mean, she's literally part computer. BEAT THAT) and knows all kinds of clever, practical things, like how to repair androids and break out of prison. She's just the levelheaded brainiac I'd want with me to save the word.

Seraphina from Seraphina by Rachel Hartman



This girl is absolutely brilliant. She drops vocab words that would make every kid studying for the SATs cry, she's a musical genius, and she uses draconion logic with the best of the dragons. Ravenclaw all the way.

Did I Sort anybody disastrously wrong? Where would you sort your favorite YA heroines and why? Sound off!

Review: Wild Cards by Simone Elkeles

Review: Wildcards by Simone Elkeles
Goodreads 
Release date: October 1, 2013
Publisher: Walker Children's
Series: #1 in the Wild Cards series
Source: ARC from BEA
Rating: Go read Catching Jordan instead.



After getting kicked out of boarding school, bad boy Derek Fitzpatrick has no choice but to live with his ditzy stepmother while his military dad is deployed. Things quickly go from bad to worse when he finds out she plans to move them back to her childhood home in Illinois. Derek’s counting the days before he can be on his own, and the last thing he needs is to get involved with someone else’s family drama.

Ashtyn Parker knows one thing for certain--people you care about leave without a backward glance. A football scholarship would finally give her the chance to leave. So she pours everything into winning a state championship, until her boyfriend and star quarterback betrays them all by joining their rival team. Ashtyn needs a new game plan, but it requires trusting Derek—someone she barely knows, someone born to break the rules. Is she willing to put her heart on the line to try and win it all?


Ugh. This book. It just doesn't work, though it gives a valiant effort. It has massive potential, but most it just kind of annoyed me. Wild Cards purports to be a romance novel about football, but there isn't even one football game in this book. Not one. See that football player on the cover. LIES. ALL DIRTY LIES.



Wild Cards is about Ashtyn Parker, whose name bugs the crap out of me. Look, strange spellings are fine in real life, and you can spell your name however you like. But for some reason, they bother me in fiction. She's a girl and she's captain of her high school varsity team, much to the chagrin of her father and her boyfriend, both of whom are sexist crapbuckets who deserve circumcision. Derek is the hot, troublesome bad boy (excpe that he's NOT, why does everybody keep SAYING THAT, he literally goes around charming little children and doing the yard-woek unasked, he's not bad at all you idiots).  Their  meet-cute goes disastrously, hilariously wrong, and I was like, yes! Come alive, you boring little book.

Nope.

Then, as Christina pointed out while she was reading this book, Derek informs the reader that there's electricity flowing between him and Ashtyn (page 27. 27). Which there is not. Show me the electricity. Don't just inform me of it and except that to be good enough. At least the characters gained a lot more personality by this point. Unfortunately, I hated their personalities, so that was nice.

"I'd bet my left nut that Chicago beaches are nothing like the beaches in Cali."



Ew, Derek, can we leave your nuts out of this? Also: you are correct. Except for the fact that those of us in California don't ever call it Cali. Also, bring on the cliche alerts: the girl who's just one of the guys and doesn't know about fashion. The best friend (Monika. Ugh, that spelling) who knows all about clothes and boys and makeup and is willing to help out the less-fashionable protag. Except who cares about Ashtyn's friends? The author certainly doesn't! They're basically just names on a page! As @ournoisyhearts pointed out, all Ashtyn's friends feel like furniture.

Also, Ashtyn, just because a guy knows how to make breakfast, doesn't mean he must have spent a lot of time with his mother. Guys are capable of scrambling eggs and do not actually requite women to show them how. They, like females, require sustenance for continuing to be alive. There was a lot of accidental misogyny, which is super annoying in a book that otherwise does a good job of dealign with people's everyday sexism, particularly in sports. Bonus points for diversity, though (casual mention of a football player's two dads).

The football plot I really could have liked. Ashtyn, team captain and the only girl on the team, has to deal with the sexism from her rival team and her jealous douchenozzle boyfriend and her gruff father, who completely sucks. She needs to subvert everyone's expectations, prove herself, etc. But Elkeles, to my everlasting despair, doesn't focus on this plot at all. Instead, she focuses on Derek and Ashtyn, who have as much chemistry as a pair of chairs.

CAN'T YOU FEEL THE TENSION?

Why? Because they move tooooo faaaaast. Like, there's insta-lust, which this sort of is, but... i just didn't believe it, you know? Ashtyn and Derek are all right characters with some funny moments, but their chemistry felt totally forced to me. If it had been left to develop naturally, I might have shipped it. But not when the author is just knocking the characters' heads together like they're her Barbies. Then stupid Derek and his and Landon's stupid alpha male nonsense. "Bleghhh, Ashtyn is a prize to be won, my balls are bigger than your balls, bleghhhh." I literally laughed out loud when Ashtyn was all, "I was in love with him. I had been all along, really." Really? Really?

I mean, there's cute bantering, and then there's just being mean. Ashtyn and Derek are mean to each other. I like them so much better as characters when they're apart. When Ashtyn's dealing with her father (TALK ABOUT UNDERDEVELOPED PLOT THREAD) or football, she's great. When Derek is thinking about his mom, he's tremendously likeable. Together? Ugh.

I love football and will always be willing to read books about football. The misleading cover and synopsis made me think the romance would be on the field or more directly football-related. I will admit the kissing scenes are pretty steamy. But ugh stupid too easy happily ever after ending and stupid non-footballness and stupid forced love and blehhhhhh. That ending? Give me a break. Super rushed and super cheesy. I rolled my eyes so hard I think I sprained them.

Seriously, go read Catching Jordan by Miranda Kenneally instead. Say hi to Sam Henry for me. With your lips.