Review: Death Sworn by Leah Cypess

Review: Death Sworn by Leah Cypess
Goodreads 
Release date: March 4th, 2014
Publisher: Greenwillow (Harper)
Series: #1 in the Death Sworn series
Source: e-ARC
Rating: Wasted potential.

 

When Ileni lost her magic, she lost everything: her place in society, her purpose in life, and the man she had expected to spend her life with. So when the Elders sent her to be magic tutor to a secret sect of assassins, she went willingly, even though the last two tutors had died under mysterious circumstances.

But beneath the assassins’ caves, Ileni will discover a new place and a new purpose… and a new and dangerous love. She will struggle to keep her lost magic a secret while teaching it to her deadly students, and to find out what happened to the two tutors who preceded her. But what she discovers will change not only her future, but the future of her people, the assassins… and possibly the entire world.


How can a book that ostensibly combines so many of my favorite things not be a good thing? By making it boring. This book was sworn to bore me to death. Did you read that synopsis? Mages? Assassins? Murder mystery? Ever-present danger? I would have loved to read a book with all those things in it! This should've been my catnip. I am the target audience for an awesome high fantasy badass girl vs assassins book. And yet... no.

I want to give credit to Cypess for coming up with a wonderful concept. Ileni is a sorceress from an esteemed... group of sorcerors? (things are a bit fuzzy in this book)... who once had great power, but her gifts are drying up fast. She is sent to be a teacher of magic to a bunch of assassins who live in these underground caves and also figure out what happened to her two predecessors beyond the obvious, "Duh, assassinated by assassins". How can a girl without powers manage to outwit a deadly brotherhood of... um, deadly brothers... and get to the heart of what evil lives inside the caves?

Spoiler: she can't.



I had a very long discussion ranty thing with Meg from Cuddlebuggery and Christina from A Reader of Fictions, so I'm going to shamelessly quote from that conversation and also shamelessly use a bunch of Chandler gifs for reasons.

The characters should have been full and gripping, but they feel shallow. Ileni starts out appropriately fiesty and sassy but fast loses her spark. Cypess clearly does not give half a fruitcake about any characters other than What's Her Butt and Love Interest. The vast majority of the scenes are just the two of them, being stupid. Oh, and the caves. The caves are entirely the prupose of this story. I feel like I got to know the rock formations better than anything, says Meg. Rock formations and the way Sorin movies. Sorin is Love Interest, by the way. Sorin is almost interesting, I felt, except that we really do spend a lot of time talking about how graceful he is, his deliberate moves, his coordinated muscles, blah blah blah.

Meg:
I GET IT HE'S A DEADLY JUNGLE CAT MAN
Meg:
This book is a perfect example of second book syndrome. Except it's the first book, which is kind of impressive.

Me:
We are stuck. In caves. We mope. We ponder. We vaguely try to solve mysteries. We force some bickering.

Meg:
There is seriously an entire chapter of her following one dude through the caves.

Me:
SO MUCH WANDERING THROUGH CAVES.

I don't care about wandering through caves. Do you care about wandering through caves, Chandler?



This book feels like a wasted opportunity. A waste of a brilliant idea. The execution is lackluster, the wordbuilding sketchy, and the plot entirely underdeveloped. One of my particular pet peeves was the treatment of Ileni's lack of magic powers. I was really looking forward to reading about a heroine who is forced to defeat evil through wit and bravery, who can no longer rely on the crutch she's always relied on. And Cypess does that... but, um, Ileni can still totally do magic. Like, a lot of magic.

Ileni: I am too weak for this spell!
Ileni: *proceeds to do spell flawlessly*
Ileni: I am so tired! At least until I do another flawless spell!
Ileni: My magic is dying but I will use all of it for no reason!

What's the point of making her magicless if she's not actually magicless? Cypess attempts to show that this is an obstacle for Ileni by throwing in lines like, "The spell was more difficult for her now" or "She never used to get this tired". Well, maybe Ileni should go the fuck to sleep instead of wandering the corridors like Bertha Mason at night.

ALSO. ILENI. WHY DID YOU TELL SORIN YOUR ENTIRE PLAN THE THIRD TIME YOU SPOKE TO HIM? DO NOT TRUST THE JUNGLE CAT ASSASSIN BOY. DO NOT.




Yes, Chandler. A yummy, jungle cat sandwich.

And the problem is, the plot is a mystery, so everything hinges on the ending. So when the ending is weak, everything is weak. It feels rushed and underdeveloped and doesn't make a whole lot of logical sense. Mystery solutions are pulled out of nowhere, a knife just appears in her hands, and don't even get me started on the time a guy built a stalactite staircase in like twenty minutes. I could not. I put the Kindle down. I took a walk. I took a walk to deal with that. Also, to quote Christina, if the bad guy is actually dead, I will eat my bonnet.

I'm going to skip over the part where Cypess SKIPS OVER THE KISSING.



















Psych! I'm not going to skip over  it. That'd be stupid! Who in their right mind would build up to a point everybody wants to read and then just skip it? Just fade to black and not show it? Lol. That'd be crazypants, right? To not show a kissing scene in a book where the romance is the primary plot? No, way, let's show instead scene after scene of Ileni moping about some dude named Tetris Tellis who isn't even in the stupid book, and yet he casts a mopey pall over nearly every scene.

 

The world of Death Sworn is has fascinating bones, and I wish sooooo much that Cypess had given us more of it. She'd give us this little taste of the Empire and Renegai and i'd be like OO YES MORE buty then, nope, Sorin is walking like a jungle cat through a cave, or Tellis is Tellisy Tellis, this is much more important. I want to know more about this hugely creepy, entirely wonderful colony of assassins! And their hugely creepy, entirely horrific Master, to whom they are devoutly loyal! You have such good stuff going on! Why aren't you USING it?? Why does Ileni have no set, central character, instead becoming whatever the plot demands of her?

 

Ugh. Ughhhhh, book. I wanted to love you. I wanted you to love yourself. Live up to your potential! I wanted your romance to make me swoon, not wonder if the characters actually even liked each other. I wanted your villain to terrify me, not make me roll my eyes. I wanted your mystery to enchant me, but instead I was bored. If this book had focused on the characters and really developed them and the world around them (and I don't mean the literal world, ie STOP DESCRIBING CAVES), then maybe this could have been a winner. It was so close. But it got lost somewhere along the way.

Probably took a turn down the wrong cave.

Top Ten Favorite Retellings

Hosted by The Broke and the Bookish

I love retellings of all kinds. Retellings of fairy tales, folklore, classic novels-- you name it, I'm interested in it. Whenever I hear about a new retelling coming out--even if it's an adaptation of an original story I don't love so much--I get super excited and add it to my wishlist immediately. Here are a few of my very favorite YA retellings:

What it's retelling: the legend of Robin Hood
Why it's awesome:  A ship of ships, female bad-assery, genderbending, historical awesomeness, super scary villains, and a sequel that will punch your soul and punch it hard. (My reviews of Scarlet and Lady Thief)

 

What it's retelling: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Why it's awesome: Well, duh, because it's Bridget Jones. Not only does it have a hilarious and wonderful movie adaptation, but the book itself is hysterically funny, even if it is a loose modernizations of P&P and there's no way to actually have Colin Firth's face in the book.



What it's retelling: Cinderella
Why it's awesome: Because it's my childhood, that's why. This book was one of the first books I was ever obsessed with. Ella is feisty and brilliant and independent, Char is adorable, and in the end, Ella is her own hero. Plus the twist on Cinderella lore is genius.

What it's retelling: The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Emma Orczy
Why it's awesome: Genderbending. Shipping. Worldbuilding awesomeness. Spies and refugees and pretty covers and awesomeness again. (My review)

What it's retelling: Sleeping Beauty
Why it's awesome:  Another book I completely adored as a kid. The specifics of the plot are a bit fuzzy, but I do remember the twists being genius and original and the ending being fabulous and verrrry  different from what you'd expect.

What it's retelling: the legend of King Arthur
Why it's awesome: I love Meg Cabot's standalones so much, and Avalon High is one of my faves. It's about a girl who gets caught up in the dramas surrounding the possible reincarnations of King Arthur... who happens to be the cuuuutest guy in school.

What it's retelling: Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel, and Snow White
Why it's awesome: For so many reasons you should surely be aware of now. This is solid, oh-so-entertaining lite sci-fi, and I'm kind of obsessed with it. (My reviews of Cinder, Scarlet, and Cress)

What it's retelling: the myth of Persephone and Hades
Why it's awesome: Persephone retellings are always such a problem for me because oftentimes they lead to the victimization of the girl and the romanticization of the abductor, but Everneath is such a cool reinterpretation of that idea. Plus there's Jack and there's Cole and mostly there's Cole, and I do love me some Cole. (My reviews of Everneath, Everbound, and Evertrue)

What it's retelling: Persuasion by Jane Austen
Why it's awesome: Persuasionis one of my favorite Jane Austen novels, but it's very quiet and introspective. I worried that that would be difficult to translate into science fiction, but the strength of the characters, the depth of their emotion, and the brilliance of the worldbuilding make this book a win. (My review)

What it's retelling: Cinderella
Why it's awesome: Another classic from my youth. This is about what happens to Cinderella after going to the ball and meeting the prince as she discovers that being royal isn't all it's cracked up to--and neither is her future husband.

What it's retelling: Cinderella (very, very, veeeeeery loosely)
Why it's awesome: Okay, so apparently this book is based somewhat on Cinderella with a blonde girl going to a ball not to marry a prince, but to kill one, but honestly, I just like having a chance to push this book on you guys again. Because I love it. Also glass throne? Glass slipper? It's totally there. Go with it. (My review of Throne of Glass, the novellas, and Crown of Midnight)

Honorable mentions: Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George, Of Beast and Beauty by Stacey Jay, Fairest by Gail Carson Levine, I Was a Rat! by Phillip Pullman (ESPECIALLY this one. I thought of it too late to make any graphics for this book, but it's brilliant).

Review: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Review: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Goodreads 
Release date: January 10th, 2012
Publisher: Dutton (Penguin)
Series: No
Source: Purchased
Rating: Sleep? Bad. Reading funny, horrifically heartbreaking book until I fall asleep with the light on and the book open? Good. Crying until you asphyxiate? Yeah.



Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten.


I tried my darnedest to read this book in a vaccum, but when you read a book as pervasive in our pop culture are The Fault in Our Stars is, you might as well search for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie. In other words, it's not happening. However, I kept off Tumblr while reading, and I kept off Goodreads, making no status updates. I was like a reading ninja. Super stealth and then SURPRISE! I have lost my John Green virginity! And right under all of your noses.



I think Tumblr might have ruined my ability to adore this book as much as I could have. Make no mistake: I loved it. This is a fantastic book. All I meant to do was peek at the first page, but I ended up falling right into Hazel's easy, funny, whipsmart narration. The problem with The Fault in Our Stars for me is no fault of its own.

One thing I've realized about John Green's writing (after reading one novel and clearly becoming an expert on the matter) is that I prefer his bantery, funny, clever bits to his profound bits. Oh, I love the profound emotions. Hazel and her situations and her wry, dark humor? All fantastically funny and brutal. This book is precisely the way I like to get my heart broken. I like books and characters who take the attitude that life is so damn screwed up you might as well mock it. This is not a sickly sweet cancer book, and for that I was enormously grateful. But whenever I came across one of those Important Quotes that float around Tumblr on textposts and gifsets with 50,000 notes, I kind of just went, "Okay, cool, there's that line about metaphors/wish-granting factories/the sex-accruing qualities of time/slowly, and then all at once." It diminished my ability to see the line for what it was.

Which, yeah, not John Green's fault. It's not really a knock on the book that I spend so much time on Tumblr that I could quote TFiOS before I'd ever read it, but it did tend to jolt me out of the narrative. And it did make me realize that those Quotey, vaguely pretentious bits are my least favorite bits. 
They're deep, and they're beautiful, but I find John Green so much deeper and more beautiful (his writing, I mean. Obviously. Um, no offense, you're very handsome, and all, Mr. Green) in the surrounding moments. When Isaac and Hazel are compiling a list of Qualities of a Good Nurse. Nearly every cute, flirty conversation between Hazel and Gus. The quiet moments in which Hazel comes to any kind of realization involving her parents (sobby sob sobberosity).

When surprised and excited and innocent Gus emerged from Grand Gesture Metaphorically Inclined Augustus, I literally could not resist.

Me too, Hazel. This is exactly what I'm saying. Adorable, funny Augustus freaking out over riding in a plane for the first time is so freaking charming that I couldn't help but squeal. And yes, I get and like the Metaphors and Profound Realizations, but really. Augustus freaking out over the view from the window. My HEART.

This book. This book fucking hurts, man. I know it sounds like I didn't love it because all of the blah blah above, but I really did. I didn't even mean to read this book today, but then Hazel just kind of grabbed hold of me, and god damn you, book. I knew how you ended because hello, Tumblr, thanks a lot, but really. Didja have to do me like that? Like, I know you are a book all about life and death and shitty luck and stars crossing, so I expect you, book, to dial the pain machine all the way to fifty. But you know that the way to get me to love a character is for that character to make me laugh. So of course you make all your characters funny, and then of course you inflict misery on every single one of them, and then of course I am miserable. And I knew it. I fucking knew it with that twist, I could see it coming, and you did it anyway, and why dear God why stop saying okay you lying liars because NO



Is it weird to say that I actually expected this book to be sadder than it is? (THE FIRST HALF, mind you. The second half I can't even talk about.) We know from the get-go that Hazel, our positively delightful and darkly humorous narrator, is a "grenade", as she puts it, guaranteed to explode (aka die. Lots of gallows humor here). But really, for most of the ride, things are a lovely mix of serious and funny. It's like those clouds on the cover: the darkness is always balanced by the light. Until the end when all you want to do is rip out your heart and fling it at something. And it's so godforsaken sad that it makes you remember the book as a sad book, when really, it's a book bursting with humor and brightness.

You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice.

Until, you know, the great big heaving sucking sobs happen, and you're just that crazy chick buried in a nest of tissues at 3 in the morning, sobbing so heavily into your Kindle that you legitimately worry about electrocution.

To me, the star of this book is Hazel herself. Augustus Waters, one-legged dreamboat, is, yes, a dreamboat, and I love him and his cleverness and his Gusness to bits, and of course they're totally perfect for each other, and all of that, but Hazel? Hazel and I would be best friends. We'd binge watch ANTM and Top Chef together and not talk about the important things and force each other to read the pretentious books we love. Her voice is brutal, funny, and wry. She also sounds very much like a girl, which is always a worry for me when authors are male, but Hazel was completely authentic.

And what I loved most of all is that this book isn't about cancer. It's about Hazel, and Augustus, and Hazel's truly fantastic parents, and Isaac, and the people around them, and the lives they carve out for themselves, reacting to their shitty, fully flawed stars. (It's also about sticking something very sharp and pointy right into my feels and twisting it, but that's not important right now).

So. For my very first John Green novel, I'd say it didn't go too badly, right? Pay no attention to the Himalaya of tissues beside my bed, please.

Book Haul, or the One With All the Screaming

Sometimes you get those packages in the mail that are filled with so much bookish goodness that you you lose your mind for a second. This was was definitely one of those weeks, as one of my most highly anticipated novels of the year showed up on my doorstep and I made a sound not yet replicated in the natural world! I scared my dog and all my neighbors! Happy early birthday to me!

For review:

From Penguin:

 

 What I Thought Was True by Huntley Fitzpatrick

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I screamed and hugged this book and danced in a circle after opening the package. It's so pretty and it's a new Huntley Fitzpatrick book and GAH EXCITEMENT. Look how gorgeous that cover is! Those sunsetty colors, the font, the clouds, the water... Total book lust.

From Edelweiss:




Tabula Rasa by Kristen-Lippert Martin (thanks, Egmont!)

I'm totally over eye covers, especially ones that are not all pretty and fancy like the Shatter Me covers, but this sounds like a cool concept.

Of Monsters and Madness by Jessica Verday (thanks, Egmont!)

Super excited for this one. It feels very of Miss Peregrine's and Masque of the Red Death to me. Like the latter, this is a retelling of an Edgar Allan Poe work. In this instance, it's the poem "Annabel Lee". Hopefully it's full of Gothic awesomeness.

Let's Get Lost by Adi Alsaid (thanks, Harlequin!)

Yay! I've been looking forward to this one for a long time, because cute blurb plus cute cover equals bookish happiness.

Born of Deception by Teri Brown (thanks, Harper!)

I really enjoyed Born of Illusion, so I've got very high hopes for its sequel.

Purchased:



The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski

Man, the finished copy of this is ten different kinds of gorgeous. It's totally droolworthy. it's one of those hardbacks that clearly had all the money put into its manufacturing, since the jacket is all soft and matte, but the letters are glossy and metallic, and the pages are deckle-edged. Whenever I pass by this book in my apartment I stroke it.

Ship Shape: All I Need Is Love

I've noticed on Twitter that many bloggers really love it when a book is romance-free. A new blurb or synopsis will be revealed, and it'll have no mention of romance, and that will really make a lot of bloggers happy. Bloggers I greatly admire and whose opinions I value and often agree with are sick of plots that get entirely dominated by romances. They find it refreshing to read a book focused solely on sisterhood or friendship or one girl's inner struggle to define herself.

Confession time: I am not one of those bloggers.

I know. You're shocked, right? That someone who started a blog feature called 'Ship Shape is a pretty big fan of bookish romances? Well, truth be told, I start to get a little bored if there aren't at least two characters in a novel whom I hope will smash their faces together at some point. Blame the steady diet of Disney movies on which I was raised.

Everything wrong with me is entirely your fault, Disney.

I don't particularly care if this makes me a "less intellectual" reader, and I don't think badly of those who prefer PNR with a little less R. Or their YAR with no R. Or who just are sick of R in general. I'm not even ashamed of how far into the Google Image Search rabbit hole I fell whilst looking for Disney kiss gifs (I think my fave Disney kiss might be the one above. Or the one from Tangled. Oh, whatever, they're all flawless).

I'm not refreshed when I hear about a book devoid of romanticalness. I am disappointed.

Now, of course I have read and loved books that don't have ships. I love books about sisterhood and friendship and one girl's inner struggle to define herself! More books should have those things! Those are awesome things! But honestly? I like kissing. I like it a lot. Kissing or the possibility of kissing or the promise that someday along the line one of the characters might someday possibly dream of kissing--they're elements I require in my fiction nowadays.

I like rooting for two people to get together. I like for there to be a romance to hang my shipper hat on, to guide me through the story, to make me invest even more. It doesn't even have to be a full blown, I-shall-make-a-vow-of-everlasting-love romance. The MC can have a crush on another character. Another character can have a crush on the MC. There can merely be vague authorial hints, like little breadcrumbs. Perhaps the book is a middle grade, so there's no romance whatsoever, but the female MC just so happens to have a super loyal best friend who you totally know is going to fall in love with her upon puberty. Whatever. I really, really, REALLY prefer the books I read to have at least a whiff of romantic possibility, and guess what? I'm not ashamed of this.

I damn well hope so.

Romance novels and novels with romance get such a bad rep. I used to be embarrassed about how deeply I invest in ships, and how all the books I liked to read had romance. But I've reached the point in my readerly life where I don't even care. I can now admit to myself that I prefer to read books that contain romances. Even as a pretentious teenager interested only in hardcore classic literature (and chick lit: 15-year-old Gillian was all about Bronte, Dostoevsky, and Sophie Kinsella), I preferred the classics that had people gettin' it on. Or, you know, the old timey equivalent of gettin' it on. Batting eyelashes at one another. Brooding in breeches. Repressing sexual tension. Murder. (In the case of Dostoevsky at least.)

I start to get a little punchy when I read a book with no ships in it. I start crackshipping like crazy. I sort of feel like one of those windup toys that walk or roll on wheels, but someone has placed me straight up against a wall, and my little wheels are spinning because I'm trying to walk through it and it's just not happening. I try so hard to sail those oceanliners, but I've been plopped in a bookish desert, to murder a metaphor.

Me reading Lord of the Flies: I ship Piggy with Ralph.

Sanity: Uh... sure. Go with it. Whatever floats your boat.

Me: SHIP.

Sanity: Ship.

Me: No, wait! Piggy and Jack! They just need to undergo a spiritual journey, you know? It's hate to love! There's a trajectory!

Sanity: I'm pretty sure no.

Me: Or maybe I ship Ralph and Jack! Yeah! Or Piggy and the conch! Or Piggy and the boulder! Maybe not that one. Or the conch and the island, because, like, they're both from nature, and--

Sanity: *dissolves*



Take Tamora Pierce, one of my all-time favorite fantasy writers. Why is she one of my all-time favorites? Because ships. (And bad ass feminism, aka my favorite things. Who says they can't be concurrent in literature?) My favorite TP series are the ones that feature Alanna, Daine, and Aly. Why? BECAUSE SHIPS. I can't help it! The romances in those series only serve to enhance the plot for me. They make me care more about the characters. When eleven-year-old Gillian first picked up Alanna: the First Adventure, sure, she was hooked on Alanna's emotional journey and how freaking awesome the sword fights were, but you know what made those even better a read for her? The fact that there was a Prince Jonathan there. It was almost like a prize. A readerly bonus. (Don't worry, little Gillian switched to Team George pretty soon.)

Okay. And yes, I live vicariously through those bad-ass bitches and their sexytimes and swoons. I just love the fact that Alanna takes no prisoners on the battlefield AND in the bedroom. Girl gets around, and it's brilliant. (Also the boys are super hot. Incidentally. Mmmm. Book boyfriends.)

 

Ummm, yes. I was saying things. Tamora Pierce's Circle of Magic series, however, aka the ones set in Emelan, I was never able to get into as a kid. Because... say it with me... there were no ships. I've tried to get into them again several times since, and my poor little brain sort of spazzes out and starts forcing all the uncooperative little characters onto ships that they just weren't meant to board.

I don't think the inclusion of a romance by definition diminishes the bad-assery of the plot or the heroine. Is it true that some romances in some novels are so horrifically executed that they ruin the entire value of the story? Absolutely. But by no means does that turn me off of romance as a whole. I live vicariously through the books I read, and I want to swoon, dang it! What's so wrong with that? That shouldn't be deemed lesser. It's not lesser. It's what I like.

Some people like sugar-free gum, some people like gum that is basically candy. Some people like romance-free novels, and some people love nothing more than reading about imaginary word-people sticking their word-tongues in each other's word-mouths. To each her own, you know?



Another good post on the necessity of romance is this one from Christina over at A Reader of Fictions.

So what about you? Do you prefer romance in your books? Do you prefer books without it? Or do you pretty much not care either way?

Blog Tour: Half Bad by Sally Green Review and Giveaway!

Review: Half Bad by Sally Green
Goodreads 
Release date: March 4th, 2014
Publisher: Viking Juvenile (Penguin)
Series: #1 in the Half Life trilogy
Source: Print ARC from the publisher
Rating: Ambitious, intriguing, a bit overlong, but ultimately satisfying.

A stunning, magical debut. An international sensation.

In modern-day England, witches live alongside humans: White witches, who are good; Black witches, who are evil; and fifteen-year-old Nathan, who is both. Nathan’s father is the world’s most powerful and cruel Black witch, and his mother is dead. He is hunted from all sides. Trapped in a cage, beaten and handcuffed, Nathan must escape before his sixteenth birthday, at which point he will receive three gifts from his father and come into his own as a witch—or else he will die. But how can Nathan find his father when his every action is tracked, when there is no one safe to trust—not even family, not even the girl he loves?

In the tradition of Patrick Ness and Markus Zusak, Half Bad is a gripping tale of alienation and the indomitable will to survive, a story that will grab hold of you and not let go until the very last page.


This is definitely one of those books that is going for something. It is full of effort and ambition and, occasionally, genius.We first meet Nathan as he's being held captive in a cage. We also meet him, inexplicably, in second person, which thankfully only lasts for a fraction of the narrative. Then we flash backwards and learn about Nathan's life, the world of White and Black Witches, and how it is he found himself shackled and beaten in a cage.

 Nathan is half White Witch, half Black Witch, and that is no bueno for Nathan. The White Witches reign supreme in England. Blacks are hunted and killed, and Nathan's life is highly regulated. His brother, sister, and gran love him, but he is treated with extreme cruelty and prejudice from nearly everybody else in his life. Nathan's pain is palpable and his circumstances are dire. Green does a great job of depicting the mindset and world of the White Witches (even it it's kind of uncomfortable at times, because of the weird racial undertones).

I thought the first chunk, leading up to Nathan being imprisoned in a cage, was too slow. It was the important part, I know, wherein we got to feel for Nathan, love his family, and be inculcated with the desire to punch those mean White Witches on the nose for being so beastly. SeriouslyOver the entire novel, actually, the pacing is far too slow and the plot is far too loose. A less focused reader may lose patience and not stick it out to find the goods, and there are goods.

Nathan is moody and strong and full of anger, and yet he wants to trust and love people. (He probably trusts too easily, truth be told). His "romance" with sweet, blond Annalise, a pure White Witch, is not so interesting, but THERE IS A SECOND SHIP that I did not see coming and changed the entire game for me. Team Gabriel for the win! Oh, yes, you heard that right. Surprise gay ship = Gillian's happy place.

Besides Gabriel, other character standouts include Bob, the psychic, sensitive artist who also probably has a crush on Nathan, Celia, Nathan's surprisingly complicated captor, and Jessica, Nathan's positively heinous older sister. The Council, aka the big bads (maybe? Maybe it's Marcus, Nathan's father? Maybe it's Mercury? maybe it's even Nathan himself, along the line?) are appropriately cruel. While I wasn't thrilled with the format of the plot--it's mostly Nathan going from place to place, following loose instructions, taking way too long,and the ending isn't as grand as it could be-- there is still a lot of good, mostly in Nathan's sense of humor, his bonds with his family and the father he's never met, and the way he never gives up.

I very much enjoyed the witch-lore present in Half Bad, which is less Harry Potter and more classic British pagan folklore. Plus, I have a feeling Green's skills will only grow. Seriously, the book would have been stunning with some pacing and plotting techniques. I actually enjoyed the style of the prose, though it took me a while to acclimate to it, and I've got really high hopes for book two (AND GABRIEL) (NEEDS MORE GABRIEL) (TEAM GABRIEL).

About the author:

Sally Green lives in Warrington, England with her husband and son. Having decided not to return to her successful career in finance, she is currently studying for a BA in Literature with Creative Writing with the Open University. Her spare time is spent hill walking in Wales and drinking too much coffee.

PenguinTeen has very graciously volunteered to give away a finished copy of Half Bad to one lucky blog reader! Just wait until you see how shiny and shimmery this thing is in person. (You don't want to know how long it took me to see the face in the cover.) US only.

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Top Ten Popular Authors I've Never Read

Hosted by The Broke and the Bookish

I know. I know. And I call myself a book blogger. Some day? I own a copy of The Fault In Our Stars, but I'm completely terrified of it. Mayhaps before the movie comes out.

I have a signed copy of her latest, The Moon and More, yet for some reason it just never called to me. None of Sarah's books have, and I'm not sure why. They were super popular all through my teen years, but... Eh. I don't know. SOME DAY.

I am DETERMINED to read her books this year. I just know I'll adore them and that her words are gorgeous and unique and romantic and IT'S HAPPENING. It is soooo happening.

I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I've sworn to start reading the Lumatere Chronicles as soon as possible. I've been told the ships are epic, and, well, that's the magic word for me.

She's written like a million books and I have read zero of them, but I own a few of her hot alien books, so maybe someday. I'm more curious about her Covenant series, though, so I may start there if I ever do start.

Actually, by the time this post posts, number 7 will no longer be accurate, since I'll have finished Panic by this point. But as of the time I made this graphic, I have not read any Lauren Oliver.

Verse + issue books = not Gillian's cup of coffee, but one day I might change my mind.

I'm actually very interested in her books, though I'm not sure where to start. The ones with the fey people and iron and love triangles? The vampire ones? Should I wait for the dragons? I do like dragons.

I'm only hurting myself, at this point. These sound like so much fun and the covers are adorbs.

I know so very little about her Mara Dyer series, but so many others are totally obsessed with it, so I'm planning on hopping on the bandwagon someday.

Honorable mentions: Ransom Riggs, James Dashner, Colleen Hoover, Beth Revis, Courtney Summers, Patrick Ness.

Review: Ask Again Later by Liz Czukas

Review: Ask Again Later by Liz Czukas
Goodreads 
Release date: March 11th, 2014
Publisher: HarperTeen
Series: No
Source: e-ARC
Adorably, swoony, witty fun! Fluff reading at its best.



Despite what her name might suggest, Heart has zero interest in complicated romance. So when her brilliant plan to go to prom with a group of friends is disrupted by two surprise invites, Heart knows there's only one drama-free solution: flip a coin.

Heads: The jock. He might spend all night staring at his ex or throw up in the limo, but how bad can her brother's best friend really be?

Tails: The theater geek...with a secret. What could be better than a guy who shares all Heart's interests--even if he wants to share all his feelings?

Heart's simple coin flip has somehow given her the chance to live out both dates. But where her prom night ends up might be the most surprising thing of all...


Oh, this book was JUST what the doctor ordered. After a string of alternately grim and/or disappointing reads, I really needed to cleanse my readerly palate with something fresh and adorable that would make me giggle. Ask Again Later had all that an more, because I didn't merely giggle--I chokelaughed. And it wasn't just adorable--it was painfully, cuter-than-puppies adorable.

I want to hug this book.

This book is a little like Pivot Point minus most of the paranormal elements and the part where Kasie West decides to crush your ship soul same thing. Heart is a poorly named and brilliant realized teenage girl desperate to avoid any kind of prom date drama. She does what any reasonable high school girl would do, and agrees to go with her group of friends. Until two, stupid not-romantic-options boys with their stupid life-ruining ways decide to ask her to prom, and Heart decides to flip a coin and let fate take the reins. Also she can't make a decision to save her life, which is a trait I can relate to. Also romance is scary and should be avoided when your only romantic options are teenage boys. Heart, girl, I feel you.

From then on we get a kind of Sliding Doors divergent narrative. Heads she picks one date, tails she picks another, and we get to see the repercussions of both flips play out. The narrative is split between the two prom nights, and obviously both lead to dancing and kissing and wardrobe malfunctions and being locked in the trunk of a car. Normal teenage stuff.

So how does the shipping in this (completely love triangle free) book play out?

Heart: Banter banter snark snark.

Adorable love interest: Snark snark banter banter.

Heart: BANTER SNARK.

Adorable love interest, pining deeply: I banter to hide my overwhelming boy feelings.

Heart: I banter because banter also what's that about feelings?

A.L.I.: Oh. Um. I feel--I feel-- BANTER. SNARK. TEASE.

Me: Now kisssss.

Heart: Banter banter banter--

Me: No, seriously, kiss.

 

Plot: *intervenes*

Me: KISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Shenanigans: *ensue*

OBEY, HALLUCINATORY PEOPLE.

There are puns, funny adorable nicknames, a ship, awesome friends, a No Drama Prom-a Crew, family jeopardy, and all sorts of prom-related disasters that I, who had a rather disastrous prom night herself, can fully relate to. Plus Heart, our narrator, is just hysterical. Christina pointed out in her review that your enjoyment of this book may be dependant on your enjoyment of Heart's voice and personality, and she's right. It never occured to me that people could dislike her, since I loved her so totally, but I can see how her brand of humor might not be the same as other people's.

But it was most certainly mine. She had me at page one, and the love interest had me at page three, aka the first time he calls her Spleen instead of Heart because he's FUNNY AND IT'S CUTE, OKAY? This is what dreams are made of, you guys. (PSA to my future currently non-existant husband: you'd better make some puns on my last name if you want to put a ring on this.) So, yeah. Have fun suffering the slow burn! The love interest made my heart melt and also my Heart melt. See what I did there? I'm almost as funny as Schroeder.



The story also resolves itself in both an adorable way AND an interesting, not-so-clear-cut way. This is the sort of book I'll certainly be rereading when my spirits need a little lifting, and I can't wait to buy a hard copy when it releases  next week!