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Friday, June 12, 2015

The YA Sorting Hat: Part III




Last time on The YA Sorting Hat: Book Boyfriends Edition

One day, I asked myself the not at all ridiculous question, "Which houses would I sort my favorite literary characters into?" So got Ye Olde Sorty out of the Headmaster's office and put him on the job of sorting some of my favorite non-Harry Potter characters into Hogwarts Houses. 

Yay, the YA Sorting Hat is back! It's been a while since I last plopped Old Sorty on a crop of fictional characters. But it's a whole new year, and we've got a whole new crop of first years crossing the lake. AND THEY NEED HOUSES.

Obviously, you could TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH ME, but if I were the Sorting Hat, this is where I'd put these guys:


Lola Nolan from Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins
It takes a lot of guts to display exactly who you are out and loud and proud for all to see.

Scarlet Benoit from Scarlet by Marissa Meyer
She was literally born with Gryffindor colors growing out of her head.

Blue Sargent from The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater
Short, feisty, iron-willed, stubborn, and willing to march into haunted caves to rouse centuries-old sleepers. Also possibly willing to destroy the earth to bring her boyfriend back to life  I mean WHAT that won't happen shhh (not a spoiler just a TERRIBLE THEORY)

Shahrzad from The Wrath and the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh
Shari's certainly got the smarts to be in Ravenclaw, but deep down, it's her lion-like courage that truly defines her. Not everyone would have the guts to marry Khalid for the reasons she did. BESIDES, SHE IS STRONG. FIERCE. CAPABLE BEYOND MEASURE. *sobs*

Simon from Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli
I have a feeling Simon would be totally confused about the hat sorting him into Gryffindor. Like Neville, he'd probably expect Hufflepuff, probably because he's a loyal friend, or Ravenclaw, because he's kind of a nerd. Definitely NOT Gryffindor, because he doesn't even have the guts to come out yet. But like I said with Lola, it takes infinite courage to accept and display who you are, and like Neville, Simon's got it in him :)


Cress from Cress by Marissa Meyer
MY LOYAL, SWEET, PRECIOUS CRESS. The Hufflepuffiest of Hufflepuffs <3

Kami Glass from Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan
I guess I'm just putting all my precious unicorn babies in Hufflepuff? I'm very fond of Hufflepuff. Kami's another one that has a few traits from other houses--the smarts of Ravenclaw and the OVARIES OF STEEL of Gryffindor--but I think it's her devotion to her family and friends and the strength of her love that make her the heroine she is. Also the sparkly precious unicorn princess she is.

Peeta Mellark from The Hunger Games
Someone commented on my last post that they thought Peeta would be a Ravenclaw, but I say nah. Total Hufflepuff, that boy :)


Aza Ray from Magonia by Maria Dahvana Headley
That girl is a total brain, collecting trivia and full of quirks and obsessed with obscure books and facts. Basically, she is CLASSIC Ravenclaw all the way, though with shades of Gryffindor. Because let's face it, most proactive characters have Gryffindor bits.

Annabeth from Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan
HOUSE OF ATHENA REPRESENT

Mycroft from Every Breath by Ellie Marney
MY BRILLIANT NERD BBY. The raveniest Ravenclaw.

Daniel Sheridan from Something Strange and Deadly by Susan Dennard
He's a handsome inventor, so of course he has quite the ready mind. (The handsome part isn't important. Except that it's so important.)


 
Nyx from Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge
Nyx is prickly, selfish, brilliant, and a total Slytherin.

Rhysand from A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
Admittedly, we don't know much about Rhys yet, but by what he displays in ACOTAR...well, he's definitely got the cunning and the ambition. *waves spoiler hands*

Mare Barrow from Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard
Pretty sure Mare's the type of girl who'd do anything to stay alive, but might end up being more Gryffindor than she thought. Or more Slytherin. This series could swing either way.

Ronan Lynch from The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater
MY PRECIOUS BABY. Sorty would have no clue what to do with you. Pretty sure you'd threaten to light it on fire if it didn't sort you into Slytherin, but then you'd be all sad when you saw Gansey in Gryffindor SO FAR AWAY FROM YOU and Adam in....? Oh who even knows about Adam. And the thing is, Ronan has HIDDEN DEPTHS that aren't even Slytherin-like at all (Ravenclaw smarts HELLO LATIN and Hufflepuff devotion WILL FUCKING ARMWRESTLE CABESWATER TO GET GANSEY BACK). So while he wears the green of Slytherin on the outside (and in his eyes) (and in the cruel slant of his mouth) (and in his UNSURPASSED SEXINESS), the heart that beats inside his heart is...rainbow-colored.

*RIM SHOT*

Agree? Disagree? Where would you sort these ickle firsties? And who else would you like to see sorted?

10 comments:

  1. You just, oh my god, this is so brilliant. THAT RONAN LYNCH ONE. Lola! Scarlet! Blue! Shazi! Love Nyx and his Slytherin-ness. Cress is absolutely a Hufflepuff. She's the most adorable of them all. And it's so perfect that Gansey would be in Gryffindor too, because Blue is, and they're soulmates, and THEY JUST DON'T NEED TO BE SEPARATED. (also how dare you bring up Gansey dying, it's much too soon for this Gillian) (Also Blue would totally do whatever it takes to save him). You think Adam would be Hufflepuff? I don't see him anywhere else, but he does have courage and smarts too..

    A++++ post!

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  2. I love every time you do one of these. Also, I'm tickled by how few Hufflepuff characters there seem to be in YA lit.

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  3. omg! Love this feature! love the Ronan part! Rainbow hahaha <3

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  4. You are seriously SO GOOD AT THIS!!! I love your reasoning because it's always spot on especially when it doesn't seem like the characters' house on the surface. I love Blue as Gryffindor! And your Hufflepuffs are so perfect <3 Kami is totally Hufflepuff, can't believe I didn't see it. Mycroft is the definition of raveniest Ravenclaw, gahhhhhh <3 Oooh Nyx and Rhys, absolutely Slytherin. That Ronan paragraph is perfection. He's like Snape (but not as Snapey). Very Slytherin with hidden Gryffindor hearts and Ravenclaw smarts and Hufflepuff loyalty.

    ICKLE FIRSTIES <3 Have you sorted Disney characters yet? I can't remember.

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  5. I love when you do this!

    I have to say that I totally agree with the majority of your picks this time around. I do think Shazi & Simon would make amazing Ravenclaws though. Simon's got this nerdy thing going for him & Shazi is crazy intelligent.

    Nyx & Rhys were perfectly Sorted. I definitely couldn't see them as anything other than Slytherins.

    Peeta is definitely a Hufflepuff, so excellent job there.

    Aza Ray is definitely a Ravenclaw. I haven't finished Magonia yet, but from what I've read, she's clearly a Ravenclaw.

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  6. I adoooore THISSSS!! And I think I agree 100% with you on all the sortings!
    And now I'm imagining all these characters at the same time in Hogwarts and I would give my soul to read something like that!!!

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  7. Nyx. Slytherin. ABSOLUTELY.

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  8. I was thinking Adam would be a Hufflepuff... But maybe also a Gryffindor?

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  9. Yup, Peeta is DEFINITELY a Hufflepuff. I don't see him as a Ravenclaw at all.

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  10. I do this too! :) I love your categorizations. I also 100% agree about Peeta.

    I just finished reading A Darker Shade of Magic, so I have to add that Lila Bard OBVIOUSLY spends the entire book Slythering around. She's ambitious, smart, deadly, and doesn't trust easily, though she'll defend those that do get close to her. I'm not sure about Kell, though -- any thoughts? I could entertain an argument for either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.

    And of course I'm curious -- what is YOUR House??

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