Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The YA Sorting Hat: Book Boyfriends Edition



Last time on The Sorting Hat: YA Heroines Edition 

It's been nearly a year since I put on my YA Sorting Hat, but since today is Ravenclaw Pride day--and I, of course, am a proud Ravenclaw--I thought I'd dust the old hat off and get it to sort some book boyfriends for us! I was very tempted to call this post "male heroines", for gender-equality reasons, so... you know what, let's pretend I did that. Step right up, bookish boyfriends, and try the hat on. Don't be shy.


Percy Jackson from the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan
This was kind of a no-brainer. Percy is brave to the point of recklessness, tending to hurl himself headlong into any kind of daring adventure without always thinking things through.

Hector from The Girl of Fire and Thorns series by Rae Carson
HECTORRRRRRRRRRR. Brave, valiant, chivalrous, noble, handsome, Hectorly Hector, captain of the guard, dispenser of unnecessary mustaches, king of my Elisa's heart.

Adrian Ivashkov from the Vampire Academy and Bloodlines series by Richelle Mead
NOW ISN'T THIS A PICKLE. This boy is a hat stall if I ever saw one. (FYI, a hat stall is when the hat takes its sweet time sorting, and so the poor first year has to sit there on the stool of sorting doom and wait until the hat fiiiinally makes up its mind). I bet some of you are thinking that I've lost my miiiiind to put infamous wastrel vampire Adrian Ivashkov in Gryffindor, but like with Neville, I SEE THE POTENTIAL. I have looked deeeeeep into those beeyootiful green eyes, past the humor and the drinking and the laziness, and I see a man with great potential and tremendous amounts of bravery who is willing to do anything for the people he loves.

 Levi from Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
This was another no-brainer for me! Levi was the reason I wanted to do more YA Sorting Hat, because he's just such a sweet, friendly, smiley Hufflepuff. *cuddles Levi* Hey, and Rainbow agrees!

Cricket from Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins
Another obvious choice! Sweet, shy, adorable Cricket is basically the ultimate Hufflepuff. His heart is true, and his love is pure, and he's certainly a hard worker.

Chaol from the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas
THIS WAS A TOUGHIE. Chaol is such a Gryffindor. He's a brave Captain of the Guard, after all, devoting his life to protecting his country. But there's one word in the (perpetually underestimated) Hufflepuff credo that I kept snagging on: loyal. And as I thought about my beloved Chaol, I realized that loyalty to Dorian above all things is what's at the heart of him. So although he may truly be a Gryffindor, I decided to sort him into Hufflepuff. BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT.

Etienne St. Clair from Anna and the French Kiss
Okay,  I know Stephanie put him in Gryffindor, but if I were the Sorting Hat, I'd put St. Clair in Ravenclaw (I feel like I just committed blasphemy). He's always reading those fat history books, and he tends to over-think things, and he's all cultured, and British accents make you sound smart, okay? SORRY.

Gansey from The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater
Gansey, the boy with a thousand faces, all of which I want to kiss. Scholar Gansey is one of my favorite Ganseys, and at the heart of him is his search for Glendower, which is certainly an intellectual journey if there ever was one.

Augustus from The Fault in Our Stars
So says John Green, and who am I to disagree?


Warner from the Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi
Warner, my hot, troubled, accidentally sort-of-evil-but-not baby. You have a jerk exterior and insides made of puppies and rainbows. You are still kind of a jerk, and you make often not-so-kind decisions to achieve your kindly ends. Plus you look damn good in green.

Nikolai from the Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo
You look damn good in everything and nothing, you handsome, cunning, delicious devil of a prince.

The Darkling from the Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo
How do you say "duh" in Ravkan?

Agree? Disagree? Where would you sort your book boyfriends?

18 comments:

  1. This is such a fun post! I agree with you on Levi and obviously Percy Jackson! I can definitely see why Chaol is a hard one to place, and I think I'm going to have to agree with you on that one as well. Yes he is brave, but loyalty is I think his biggest trait.

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  2. *kisses all their beautiful, sorted faces* Love this! Now I'm trying to think of other boys... Time to consult my book boyfriends shelf!

    Rob from SCARLET would be Gryffindor while Much would be Hufflepuff. But what about John? Titus would be... Gryffindor, I think? Roar would definitely be Hufflepuff (the loyalty thing). My brain is stuttering. This is harder than I thought, and the hotness is overwhelming.

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  3. So much fun!! The banners are beauteous and your commentary kills me. It's hilariously perfect :D

    "Gansey, the boy with a thousand faces, all of which I want to kiss."

    "You look damn good in everything and nothing, you handsome, cunning, delicious devil of a prince."

    Hahahah those were my favorites! I think you did a great job sorting, agree with them all! Here's a tricky question for you: where would you sort Ronan? And Rowan, for that matter? I can't deciiiiide.

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  4. So here's a stumper for you: Ronan Lynch. Slytherin (obvs)? Ravenclaw (he IS quite a smarty underneath the violence and anger)? Gryffendor (ditto Ravenclaw reasoning but with brave instead of smart although both)? I was going to say def not Hufflepuff but there are a few spoilery moments where he does THINGS for spoilers.

    RIDDLE ME THAT RIDDLER (I guess it'd be more puzzle me that puzzler but referential integrity and all)

    ANYHOO. Love this post, love this list, love these picks, love this feature. Such love, very wow.

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  5. YES YES APPROVE SO MUCH BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE DARKLING, WARNER AND NIKOLAI WOULD BE IN THE SAME HOUSE OF ME.

    In all seriousness though this is an excellent post and you have a very smart sorting hat.

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  6. Mwahahaha, my house (Slytherin) just got a whole lot hotter. This is now officially the best post ever relating to sortings, and quite possibly, the best post ever. You have made my inner geek giddy.

    Great job sorting everyone!

    Dreams @ Once Upon A Dream Books

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  7. Agree with you on Etienne, agree to disagree on Chaol(for many reasons, but the main one is that he and Celaena have to be in the same house!!). haha :)

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  8. I adooore this post as much as I adooored your previous post for the ladies!
    I think Chaol would be one that would be sorted into whatever house he'd feel like, because he's brave like a Griffyndor and loyal to a fault like the Hufflepuffs, and as a Hufflepuff myself, I'm all for having Chaol in the team!

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  9. This is awesome. I'd have to agree with you on the books I've read from this list. I definitely agree with everyone sorted into Slytherin. What a fun post idea!

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  10. I actually agree with every one of these! I'd go for any of the Hufflepuff or Slytherin boys :D And I completely agree that Chaol is more Hufflepuff than Gryffindor!

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  11. You know, I never thought about Cricket and which house he'd be in, but he is definitely a Hufflepuff. Perfect choices all around!

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  12. I love this post so very much, Gillian (and demand you sort Kenji. And Wolf. And Thorne. And Daniel. And Sam. Please.) I think you did well sorting these male heroines (teehee), but I'm particularly pleased that Chaol is in MY Hogwarts house ;)

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  13. I think that Storm (Fire and Thorns) would probably be a Slytherin. I see you all judging me for having Storm, but DON'T. He's MINE. Peeta's not a personal crush, but he's a lot of people's, and I would honestly say Ravenclaw.

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  14. Love this! I'm glad to have Chaol with me in Hufflepuff! Lol.

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  15. Good thing I'm a Slytherin - HEY OHHHHH.

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  16. I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE IN THE SLYTHERIN! Nikolai HELL YEAH.

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  17. LOVE LOVE this post! I agree with all your choices :D :D All them boys over at Gryffindor and Slytherin=love(s) of my lifeeeeeee *fans self*

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  18. How fun is this??? Such a creative feature.

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