Sunday, March 23, 2014

Reader's Choice Review: Eve by Anna Carey


Review: Eve by Anna Carey
Goodreads 
Release date: October 4th, 2011
 Publisher: HarperCollins
Series: Yes, #1 in the Eve trilogy
Source: Purchased
Length: 336 pages
Rating: I think I liked that more than I should have.

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Sixteen years after a deadly virus wiped out most of Earth's population, the world is a perilous place. Eighteen-year-old Eve has never been beyond the heavily guarded perimeter of her school, where she and two hundred other orphaned girls have been promised a future as the teachers and artists of the New America. But the night before graduation, Eve learns the shocking truth about her school's real purpose and the horrifying fate that awaits her.

Fleeing the only home she's ever known, Eve sets off on a long, treacherous journey, searching for a place she can survive. Along the way she encounters Arden, her former rival from school, and Caleb, a rough, rebellious boy living in the wild. Separated from men her whole life, Eve has been taught to fear them, but Caleb slowly wins her trust... and her heart. He promises to protect her, but when soldiers begin hunting them, Eve must choose between true love and her life.

In this epic new series, Anna Carey imagines a future that is both beautiful and terrifying.


Eve by Anna Carey, book one in the Eve trilogy:
A Reading Experience

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6z1796L911r0bf1eo1_r1_500.gif

Me: So Eve is a girl kept in this School (they always says School) for girls where they teach them that boys are all meanie evil rapists and Not To Be Trusted, and that when they graduate they will go on to Do Great Things, but obviously this is A Lie.

Me: Okay, well, that's all highly improbable.

Me: Let's roll with it for reasons, mostly because this isn't horrible yet, despite its lack of logic. Not-so-fathomable future indeed.

Me: YOUR LIFE IS A LIE! YOU ARE BEING TRAINED TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL BABY MAKERS! THAT'S APPALLING.

Me: Any time you'd like to start showing a personality, Eve, that would be lovely.

Me: THIS IS HIGHLY GRAPHIC AND DISTURBING. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. This whole breeding house, young-girls-forced-to-procreate business is appropriately effed up.

Me: Aw, Eve. You're kind of cute when you're being too-stupid-to-live.

Me: OH MY GOD EVE STOP PETTING THE BABY BEAR CUB

Me: YOU ARE QUITE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST HUMAN IN CREATION

Me: HOW DID YOU NOT DIE EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE

Tell me. Does this:



look at all like this:



I thought not.

Me: Dirtcaked manboy to the rescue.

Me: This is basically Eve right now:

"Is it ruffians? Thugs? Have they come for me?!"

Me: Eve, you were just utterly adorable and utterly punch-worthy in the same paragraph. You are a talented narrator.

Eve: "Eh? I was intelligent, I worked hard."

Me: Then why the comma splice, Skeevy Evie?

Eve: "I was told I was beautiful. I was Eve, the valedictorian of School. And all he could say was, Eh?"

Me: Part of me thinks this book would be better from Arden's point of view, aka the tough girl with Much Knowledge and a cranky attitude.

Me: But Eve can be a bit endearingly stupid and priggish, which is pretty funny.

Me: WAIT. Eve has BROWN hair?!?! *looks at cover* Chicka whaaaaat?

Me: OH SHEEET. A ROYAL TWEEEST! J'APPROVE.

Me: I friendship Eve and Arden.

Me: They call the girls sent to the breeding houses sows? That is awful.

Me: Eve is back to being hilariously naive. "Why is that funny? What are 'balls'? Like the ball of your foot?" TROLOLOLOLOL

Me: There is a lot of deer murder in this book.

Me: So Eve and Arden and Manboy (aka Caleb) are with this group of Lost Boys and Eve is their Wendy Mother. Okay then.

Me: This is a bit instra-trust-y here with Eve and Caleb, but Caleb's a sweetheart, so let's roll with it.

Eve: What are you doing with all these books?
Caleb: I do this funny thing sometimes. I open a book, and I look at each page. It's called reading.



Me: HA! My fondness is reaffirmed.

Me: They're bonding over reading. And Eve being sad that she slaved away at School only to fill her head with LIES. Awww. It must be tough to realize the only goal you ever had is worthless, and that all the information you have is skewed.

Me: (It's still kinda insta-love though.)



Me: *looks around for plot* *cannot uncover plot*

Me: I don't understand why only the "eighteen-year-old broodmares" have the babies. Why don't the wealthy adults in the cities have their own babies, too?

Me: TWUE LOVE BLOOMS! Too bad plausible world-building does not

Me: Like, post-plague, America is in ruins, how did Canada not come swooping in to save our sorry asses and prevent this royal dictatorship from starting? People over in England must be looking over at America and thinking, "America, you craaaazy". (So, just like they do today.)

Me: Then again, you could say that about every dystopian ever so carry on.

Me: Arden is the best. 

Me: Oh, plooooooot, where aaaaaaare you?

Me: Eve, you idiot. That is not what he said.

Me: Oh, of COURSE. I knew that was going to happen. DO NOT LIKE. Or maybe... ARGH. Confused. #vagueyvagueness

Me: What 

Me: Come on you have brains utilize them

Me:

Me: OH SHIT that was actually a good twist right there. I wish it hadn't been born of...that, though. Or that that had been done differently. #thevagueyvaguenesscontinues

Me: I'm back to loving this book. My brain is a complex creature. ACTION HIGH STAKES THINGS HAPPENING BAD THINGS

Me: Oh, it's like the Underground Railroad!

Me: I wish not everyone in this book was white, though.

Me: Every now and then Eve reveals a really sad, human, heartbreaking detail from her childhood in the School, and it just adds so much. And now she and the girls are learning about history and the world and my feeeeels.

Me: They watched the movie Ghost?! OF ALL THE MOVIES IN THE WORLD. "Hi, welcome to pop culture, here is Patrick Swayze's face, enjoy"

Me: Oh, Eve. This is why you can't have nice things.

Me: NOOOOOOO THAT WAS THE WORST

Me: Everything is terrible and it hurts

Me: Awesome actionnnnn yessss bad-ass Eve!



Me: Oh nooooooo

Me: Whyyyyyy

Me: Caleb, my baaaaaaby

Me: *sobbity sob sob*



End scene

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7 comments:

  1. Eve was quite entertaining as a read but then the series went downhill for me.
    But now this fantastic review with all the Eve and Wall-E GIFs is just brilliant, Gillian!

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  2. This review is hilarious. XD

    This basically sums up all my thoughts on the book when I was reading it, except I was also irritated by Eve! I chose not to read the rest of the series...

    ★ Under The Mountain - Can You Keep Up With Sequels? ★

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  3. This reminds me of why I love this book. And the second book, too. The third book...

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  4. So the world-building is distractingly full of plot holes and insta-love? Thanks for the heads up, so I can pass on it. And also for another highlarious review.

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  5. I have an ARC copy of this and I feel like I need to read it and write down my thoughts like this and then compare and send them to you. I kinda like this way of reviewing. It had me laughing and what not!

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  6. This review was AMAZING!!! I am begging you to do more like these, and love the Wall-E GIFs :)

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  7. I missed that you read this, and I was totally looking for Disney Princess tag, but have now lost my spot in paging back to comment on this, because your review looks hilarious. CURSE YOU.

    Yeah, basically, most of the YA dystopians are like "this makes no damn sense" and you have to chug along full steam ahead or let you brain explode from the sudden suspension of all logic.

    Eve gets EVEN MORE TSTL.

    Oooh, yes, might have been better if it were about Arden.

    Ew, did not remember the sow thing? *makes face*

    NGL, shit like this makes me laugh EVERY time: "Eve is back to being hilariously naive. "Why is that funny? What are 'balls'? Like the ball of your foot?" TROLOLOLOLOL"

    OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT GIF. *adds to GIF storage*

    Hahahaha, they watched Ghost.

    Are you going to read more?

    ReplyDelete

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