Review: Untold by Sarah Rees Brennan

Review: Untold by Sarah Rees Brennan
Goodreads 
Release date: September 24th, 2013
Publisher: Random House Books for Young Readers
Series:Yes, #2 in the Lynburn Legacy
Source: purchased
Rating: Do you want Gothic goodness? Supernatural shenanigans? Kiss Scenes of Doom? Bantering Britishisms and quippage galore? Your heart in shreds? Then this is the series for you!
My review of Unspoken, book 1



In this second book in the Lynburn Legacy, the sorcerous roots of Sorry-in-the-Vale have been exposed. Now no one in the town is safe, and everyone has to choose sides. Will the townspeople (magical and not) become "owned" by the sorcerers who believe it is their right to rule? Or will it continue in a more modern vein, with the presence of the sorcerers playing a quieter--and much less violent--role. If Kami Glass has anything to say about it, evil will not win. Despite having given up her own piece of magic, she is determined to do everything she can to make a difference. And whether they want to or not, her circle of friends (and potential boyfriends) will not be able to help but follow her and go along with her unusual schemes and battle tactics.

Untold by Sarah Rees Brennan, book two in the Lynburn Legacy:
A Reading Experience

Me, upon beginning: Oh, and everything's already gone to pot.

Me: Best cameo made by a fleet of inanimate objects suddenly made animate.

Me: KAMI YOU ARE SO SPECIAL DON'T YOU SEE HE'S LYING HE JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH HIS GOOEY MARSHMALLOW CENTER

Me: *sob* I love a boy with layers. You, Jared Lynburn, are an onion. You're an onion parfait. Layered between many more onion parfaits.

Me: I love the magic in this series. And the Britishness. And the boys. And the girls. And Kami. And the boys.

Me: Can I grow up to be Lillian Lynburn

Me: No, I want to be Jon Glass, I've changed by mind

Me: Oh dear God that is the best and worst kiss scene in Creation

Me: OMG PUNCHES ARE FLYING RUSTY OH MY GOD

Me: Poor Holly. Poor Ash. Poor Kami. Holla, my babies, just kiss and make up! Mostly kiss, obviously!

Me: SRB why do heap such pain on the sparkly little gem that is Kami she should know nothing but joy you monster

Me: Jared, you colossal idiot.

 

Me: JARED AND KAMI YOU'RE PERFECT WHY CAN'T YOU SEEE IT, YOU HAVE SHARED A SOUUUUL, YOU ARE TANGLED UP TOGETHER! YOU BLEED WHEN HE BLEEDS! *sobs* It's so be-e-eautiful!

Me: Oh, Ash. Thou hast made a valiant effort. *pats Ash's head*

Me: AWKWARD.

Delivery man, at the door: Delivery!

Me: THERE'S NO ONE HERE BY THAT NAME GO AWAY WE'RE READING

Father: That's the Chinese food. I ordered Chinese.

Me: Kami is JAPANESE.

Father: You've been reading that book too long.

  

Me: Rusty, dearest, I have a lovely couch right here you could nap on if you like. Oh, hell, don't make me ship another ship, SRB, please. My armada is getting a bit unwieldy. Stop being so adorable, Rusty. If you can.

Me: You can't.

Me: Kami is an absolutely splendid, sparkly, magical girl made of unicorns and happiness and pluck and sass and sunshine and I adore her beyond all reason.

Me: We've been planning for a big showdown for a while. There had better be a MASSIVE SHOWDOWN COMING UP.

Me: *howls with laughter* *builds shrine to Jon Glass, best father in Sorry-in-the-Vale, the east competition ever, considering he doesn't drink or sacrifice his children to increase the potency of his dark magic in the goal of subjugating an entire village to his will*

Me: I didn't know it was possible to love a group of characters so fiercely.

Me: WHOAAAA, HOLLY. That's an excellent twist!

Me: There is definitely something quippy in the water in Sorry-in-the-Vale. Everybody is so (unbelievably, to be honest) witty. I would move there in a heartbeat. I'd totally take a murderous, power-hungry horde of sorcerers in exchange for the guarantee of daily banter and repartee.

Me: Sometimes I read the jokes in this book and I wonder if my brain secretly wrote it without telling me. Like SRB is my Tyler Durden.

Me: Wait. Oh my God. Is this actually...

Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Me: YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Me: OH MY GOD. THEY--ARE YOU--A HAPPY THING... JUST.... HAPPENED??? I'm being tricked. It's a plot. I don't trust it.

Me: Stupid, of course it's a plot. It's literally a plot. This is a book.

*massive showdown*

Me: NO.

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!



Me: NNNNNNNNNGHHHHH!!!

Friend, unfortunately nearby: That was not a sound as yet made by humans.

Me: BUGUHHHHHHH.

Friend: Wait, that's the series with the hot sorceror boys who make jokes, and where everybody wants to kiss everybody else all the time, and, like, they're all miserable? The one that made you scream that one time?

Me: *says nothing, as is dead*

End scene.